policy: all students taking same curriculum - isn't beneficial for the society

Hello, followers. This is my writing for GRE essay test. I wrote in time for 30mins. It' is short but I would extremely appreciate if you look at, and advice or revise this.

The author is claim that nation should be sure to make all students attend same curriculum before they enter college. This apparently necessary decision for students, who are hardly adequate to make a proper choice before their entire life, that if government tries to take care of this by rendering all curriculum which might help the students out as a mandatory option.

By carrying out this policy, this can might reduce of lot of percentage of students missing class that they have to attend before college, besides, on the side of administration, it will be way easier to evaluate students on the set of standard.

However, I'm wondering if this can be still helpful for students even after they enter college. Can you be sure about the students who just follow the rules and standards, can finally be proper to make decision just because they are college students? For this point of view, I assume that before holding the author's claim, we have to discern this issue in a longer term of approach. This policy seems, it will be very efficient at the first sight, however, imagine when these students become the members of organizations or company of which function is extremely subsequent in society. I'm rather skeptical about capability of these people dealing with of lot of stress-taking decision. Furthermore, the society comprised of lack of decision-making members, hardly work out properly. Therefore, the policy making all students taking same curriculum isn't beneficial for the entire society.

Even before that, on the side of their own life, this doesn't help out either. They would be face of lot of obstructs in their life needing skill to handle the situation by making an approprate decision. By lacking of this ability, these students will be devastated when they face the difficulties, which might push them in the corner and bestowing an incessant pressure. This also might lead them in a wrong way.

For these reasons, same class for students policy doesn't seem so proper for the society either its own social members overall. Therefore, I recommend to adjust the rate of mandatory class and of class that students can choose, by combining these rates, students can get the both ability to follow the rule and standard as well as nurturing their skill of making proper decision.

The author is claim claims that all the students of a nation should follow a national curriculum. I agree with the author because a specified curriculum helps the students to make concrete decisions after they step out of the college. It will be easy for the administration to evaluate the performance of the students, if everyone follows a similar curriculum.

First, this essay has been opened in the wrong forum. :( You have opened it in the Graduate essays forum and I moved it to Writing Feedback which is the most appropriate forum for this essay. The forum rule is that you should select the most appropriate forum when you open a fresh thread.

The author is claims that a nation should be sure to make all students attend same curriculum before they enter college.This is apparently a necessary decision for students,


... this latter part is extremely confusing :(

Thanks for your valuable revising. These sentences make meaning more accurate. Thanks again.

Ok....let me now help you a little more with the contents;
Can you be sure about the students who just follow the rules and standards blindly ?canWill theyfinally be proper tomake decision just because they are college studentstrained to make proper decisions in life?


Well this idea , in my personal view, is not so relevant to your topic.... You have not convinced your point to the reader strongly :(

thanks again, I'm going to revise the writing based on your advise.!