I would really appreciate your insights on my personal statement. Thanks a lot.
My experience at the workplace and recognition for further education and change are my true motivations to enroll for master's degree. Every person needs further education not just for promotions, leadership positions and salary increase, but to gain new knowledge and skills that improve qualifications and competence at work. Therefore, I want to pursue a master's degree in public health so that I can gain more skills and knowledge that is essential in handling complex tasks and advocating for public health and environmental protection.
I believe that I am a qualified candidate for this program because I have a related degree and relevant work experience. At the University of California, Berkeley, I majored in Arts in Chemistry and minored in Earth and Planetary Science. I graduated in 2012 and started working immediately. I have acquired vast practical experience as a laboratory assistant at the University research lab, and laboratory technician at the major nutritional supplement company. Those work experience has enabled me to develop skills in chromatography techniques, spectroscopy techniques, bench chemistry, and microbiology techniques. I have obtained important analytical, quantitative and qualitative skills through my work experience, in which I believe would help me to be more prepared in graduate studies.
There are several reasons that have enhanced my interests in environmental health. First, I am interested in Environmental Health because fascinating environmental news broadcasted in NPR. Also, reading about environmental issues such as oil spill in the Gulf, smog problems in Southern California and the Keystone pipeline aroused more interests in Environmental Science. All industrial and domestic activities have a huge impact on the relationship between humans and the environment. Therefore, I desire to acquire in-depth knowledge on environmental issues and use it to promote harmony between man and nature.
At the university I also have the privilege to work with Dr. Celine Pallud in the soil science laboratory for two years. Serving as a laboratory assistant for Dr. Celine Pallud provided an opportunity to work with graduate students. During the period, my studies focused on reduction of selenium in soil and sediment sample from Salton Sea. At Dr. Pallud's lab, I was able to learn basic research skills by having graduate students in the field as my mentor. Since the research is heavily based on high selenium issues at the Salton Sea, my undergraduate research also helps to further my interest at environmental health.
During the last semester at UC Berkeley, in Dr. Kristie Boering's class of Atmosphere Science, I developed a strong interest in the class and the unit. The unit promotes critical thinking and encourages extensive fieldwork. Similarly, Atmosphere Science unit requires class presentation of research results for peer review. Moreover, the class had the opportunity to collaborate with graduate students thus making the experience even better. I really love the intellectual interactions I have with the graduate students, and wish myself would have similar opportunities with other people in the future at the academic field.
I would like to go to school of public health to further my interest in environmental science because a career in public health suits the lifestyle I live and personality. I feel blessed when socializing and working with members of the community to transform lives and the environment. Similarly, public health involves travelling; this is my major hobby thus prefers a job that guarantees regular travel to meet and socialize with people from different cultures. I also understand public health career will allow me to work in different settings or organizations that promote public health through organized community efforts in which the condition of the community would be improved.
After graduation, I have developed a series of short and long term career goals that I intend to achieve. I intend to enter the workforce and put knowledge into practice ad work in the field. As a public health professional, the primary career goal is to advocate for the protection, preservation and improvement of the natural environment. I would like to use this experience and skills to mobilize the community to engage in practices that do not harm the environment. Also, I look forward to using my experience in improving social and natural environments to better the health of marginalized areas and populations. In the long term, I have plans to engage in research for companies that ameliorate the health of people in resource-challenged countries. Finally, the ultimate goal is to finish this master's degree and later enroll for a doctorate program in environmental health.
I understand a master degree in environmental health would provide me a specialized education and expertise that equip and prepare me to take on greater responsibilities of helping people, families and communities.On the basis of my academic qualifications, relevant work experience and a clear desire to pursue a career in public health, the selection committee should consider and grant my application. This will put me on the course to achieve personal and academic goals so that I participate in environmental protection initiatives and programs that improve people's lives.
My experience at the workplace and recognition for further education and change are my true motivations to enroll for master's degree.
This is a pretty disorganized sentence :( With this sentence you open your essay and therefore it needs better presentation. You need to rephrase this one!
Every person needs further education not just for promotions, leadership positions and salary increase, but to gain new knowledge and skills that improve qualifications and competence at work.
... "every person"? I think it is a bit overly done generalization because different people have different objectives in pursuing their studies. May be you are right about the argument you present, but it may not be applicable to everybody. So, take the focus on to you;
For me, furthering education is not about developing my credentials for promotions or bettering career prospects, but about acquiring new knowledge and skills that help enhance my competitiveness at work and in the industry.Should I make a general statement on how I feel about education or should be more specific to public health
In COMMON APPs it is always better to avoid general statements because their, I mean the admission officers, intention is to get a good understanding about the applicant for them to assess whether he's the right candidate. So, it is always better to have the focus on yourself. Comparisons with others are also something that you should avoid. You don't need to compare yourself against others because they are going to do that anyway in the selection process. It might even work negatively for you.
