Dear all
The paragraphs below is my PS. Please help me with proofread.
Any advice will be warmly welcomed. Thx!
Have a nice weekend!
When I was one years old, my parents use a tradition Chinese draw lots game to determine which ambition I would like to achieve in the future. I picked up a calculator among all the different tools which according to their explanation, I would be great an accountant. This might sounds crazy, but I always been interested in businesses and how they operate, as well as being fascinated by cultural differences.
In the past three years, I have been study in Accounting and Finance from xxxxUniversity. My study life was both inspiring and educational, I really enjoy it. My passion for the subject increased when I studied about decision making as part of my course. Analysing different cases seems like participating different interesting stories to me. However, my entire module was quite demanding base on experiences and understanding, that's why I am now applying for postgraduate studies in order to enhance my personal knowledge.
As an international student, study in a top school with a positive atmosphere and erudite lecturer is what I'm looking forward for a long time. The agent who helped me applied for the undergraduate course confounded xxxx Business School which I am studying now and University of xxxxx Business School. This mistake always make me feel regret. Now I would like to take an opportunity to join my dream school and continue live in my second hometown.
During my school term time, I also work as a merchandise for Metro Newspaper. This job has taught me a lot about self-organised in team work and communication skill. Sometimes requires interacting with awkward members of the public and having the negotiation skills and composure to deal with these situations.
When I back to China for holiday, I took part in different variety of fairs as an interpreter. I realised a lot international cooperation is hard to develop due to culture misunderstood. The way people deal with business is quite different from country to country. Same problems found when I working in finance department form my uncle's firm. The limitations of my knowledge make me want to study more in depth so that I can help them solve these problems in a practical method.
I was hardworking in the first year, try to finish my Diploma in Business with good marks. It has been a tough time because of the adjustment for culture differences, language difficulties, and personal disciplines. Looking back to these days, I am quite proud of myself. I really thought I would keep the flowing years on the track. However, life is always full of challenges and changes which you never planned. My grandpa passed away and I suffered grievous inflict on mentality. Family means everything to a Chinese, and so do I. Stop thinking about the great time I spend with him is almost impossible and that made me fail to focus on the work. As a result, my scores were not satisfied. Whereas the more I worried about the scores the more confidence I loose. Luckily, tutors offered a lot help to me as well as activity supports from parents and friends keep me strong. It is good that I have carried on with my study and keep trying catch up the work I missed now. I really and truly hope I can have an opportunity study in your department. If it's the problem with the graduate grade I will get, I'm willing to take any summer course or provide a higher IELTS mark to prove my ability. Hope to hearing from you soon.
Thanks for your time and have a nice day!
Hey, I think you meant "decision" and not "decition".
I would say go with something more concrete like how their decision will change your life, probably: your decision will be instrumental in shaping my future as a funds manager, or something similar.
