One page intro for MBA class. Written in third person. I took out and changed names cities.
introduction should include:
- Brief personal history with educational background
- Reasons for enrolling in MBA program
- Brief review of jobs you have held (not necessarily all --if many, pick relevant ones)
- Career plans for the future (type of job desired, company/region preferred, etc.)
Format very important 12 Arial font double space and must include headings for each section.
Yes only one page.. Please tear this up if you think it is terrible.
J.R. Smith
Personal History
An outspoken extrovert from day one, J.R. Smith was born August 15, 1980. Smith grew up in the small town of Smithville, Alabama. He spent his childhood riding around the neighborhood with his bicycle gang and playing with his mutt Crakerjack. Upon graduating from high school, Smith attended college at Johnston College. He received a Bachelor of Business Administration in Business Information Systems. Smith enjoys jogging by the beach, playing on the internet, and working in the yard. He spends vast amounts of time doing these things. He also is very involved in his community. As the Boat Captain of Smithville's annual Christmas by the River, he coordinates the night time boat parade and works to make the event successful. Smith is also a member of the Young Men's Business Club of Smithville .
Reason for enrolling in MBA Program
Smith chose the MBA program at the University of XOXO because he felt that it would help him achieve an exceptional level of business knowledge in all aspects of management. This program is very flexible and allows Smith to work while earning an advanced degree. He enjoys the program because it combines two of his favorite things, the internet and school.
Job History
Having spent most of his life on the Alabama Gulf Coast, Smith began his career there after graduation from Johnston College in May of 2002. He began work as a Hotel Front Desk Clerk at a Casino Resort in Simpson, AL. While at the Casino, Smith worked his way up to a management possession. He was also graduated from XXX's Management Associate Program. The program helped him grow into a leader with the understanding that it takes a great team to reach long term goals. In August of 2005, Hurricane Katrina caused Smith to lose his job. He began working at the XXX as the Slot Club Supervisor. Smith oversaw day to day operations of the Casino Slot Club and was very involved in creating new marketing campaigns for the property. He coordinated casino promotions and special events for patrons. Smith is currently employed as an Information Systems Operations Technician for the XXX in Simpson, AL. There he runs backups of database systems and provides application support for end users. He enjoys his job greatly.
Career Plans
Smith plans on having a great life. He hopes one day to become a Project Manager for an information systems firm. This will allow him to develop budgets and schedules for his firm's information technology projects. He enjoys working with others and being a leader.
A Brief Glance...
outspoken extrovert (redundant)
playing on the internet (idiomatic error)
He also is (He is also)
Generally Speaking...
Your sentences seem to be quite simplistic. Some of them also contain syntax errors. It isnt bad, but, try revising sentences by combining it and making it more relevant, preferably using varied sentences to make it more interesting.
...with his mutt, Crakerjack. ---- I added a comma
Capitalize Internet
If you say you were outspoken from "day one" and then say when you were born, it sounds like you are saying you were talkative as a newborn, and that seems silly. Instead of outspoken, say "expressive."
An outspoken expressive extrovert from day...
Having spent most of his life on the Alabama Gulf Coast, Smith began his career there after graduation from Johnston College in May of 2002, He began working as a Hotel Front Desk Clerk at a Casino Resort in Simpson. While at the Casino, Smith ...
Hey, make that section on career plans longer! that is the most important part. Impress the reader with a great action plan for your career. Make it detailed and inspired.
:-)
