I need your help to review my SOP , because English is not my native language
"Before explaining my intentions to pursue MS in Advanced computing science at Nottingham university, I'd like to shed some light on my career up until now.
During my undergraduate studies I found many subjects fascinating, especially computer science , computer applications (advanced C and OOP using C++) and mathematics courses. The logic and creativity required to be a great programmer intrigued me, and I soon discovered I had a passion for programming.
Over the past three years, after graduating, I further developed my interest in computer programming and computing science as well.
software written by such as Boot loader, device drivers, middle ware APIs, Linux based kernel customization and applications, because efficiency is a parameter in many software, I studied algorithms and data structures as well.
During my graduate studies, I hope to explore the fields of algorithm design, parallel and Distributed Computing as well, because I feel that this program has been designed to give me insight into the world of academic and industrial computing research.
By focusing on several currently active areas it affords me the opportunity to gain an in-depth understanding of the topics of the program and in doing so, to develop the skills necessary to carry out innovative work within the discipline of computing, I chose this program in particular because it fits my personal future needs as well as my career needs(my current job).
I can promise you that I'll take full advantage of the program. To serve the needs of my country I want to pursue a career in computing science. I hope the admissions committee will find me worthy of admission so that I can achieve my goals."
Before explaining my intentions to pursue MS in Advanced computing science at X university, I'd like to shed some light on my career up until now.
During my undergraduate studies I found many subjects fascinating, especially computer science , computer applications (advanced C and OOP using C++) and math courses.
Over the past three years, after graduating, I further developed my interest in computer programming and computing science as well, software written by such as ...It seems like you should start a new sentence right in here, to make what you are saying easier to understand.
During my graduate studies, I hope to explore the fields of algorithm design, parallel and Distributed Computing as well, because I feel that this program has been designed to give me insight into the world of academic and industrial computing research.
... to develop the skills necessary to carry out innovative work within the discipline of computing, I chose this program in particular because it fits my personal future needs as well as my career needs(my current job).
What is going on with this part:
Over the past three years, after graduating, I further developed my interest in computer programming and computing science as well.
software written by
That seems like an error, but I want to tell you that the beginning is very nice. You have a good way of introducing it, and you explain with confidence and eloquence.
The last 3 sentences also are very powerful. I think you have a successful essay here, very persuasive.
Hi, fujig,
From your essay above, I found that you have rich experiences in programming and you have been involved in some interesting projects. However, I think it would be better, if you can pick out some significant projects and give more detail about your responsibilities or accomplishments in those projects. Moreover, I guess you may need to talk more about your research interests and how would you fit your specialty into those research areas. Anyway, these are my personal opinion and you still need more ideas from other people. Good luck!
