Masters Statement in life science

Hi i saw you offered great advice to many others...could you please help me with mine? Thank You in advance!

The complexity of the human body has always intrigued me. The way in which the body's own mechanisms and other organisms can cause such severe disease constantly captivates my interest to our vulnerability. Studying Biomedical Science has broadened my knowledge in various aspects of science, in particular the pathology of diseases and the different methods used to treat and diagnose such diseases. Cancer has always been a touching point throughout my degree, but was taught in depth during my final year in Medical Biochemistry and the Immunology modules. This is where I learnt what a crucial role the research and findings of biological therapy plays in the treatment of cancer.

The immunology module required me to undertake in-depth research of cytokines, particularly Interleukin-6 and Interleukin-2 (IL-2) and present this to a mix of Undergraduate and Masters Students. My interest of biological therapy stems from this research, where I discovered cytokines are apart of a group known as biological response modifiers (BRMs), which are used to stimulate the activity and growth of the immune system to destroy cancer cells. IL -2 is an example that is use to treat metastatic kidney cancer and melanoma. Further research is being undertaken, to extend this treatment to other forms of cancer such as leukaemia and lymphoma. New BRMs are continually being discovered and the way in which they function still being researched.

Although research has enabled us to understand cancer to some extent and ways in which to slow progression has been discovered, there is yet a great deal to learn to reduce the loss of life. I believe understanding the disease and our own immune system will lead us to a cure. Therefore studying cancer therapeutics at <UNI> will give me the knowledge and insight required for drug development and treatment.

Throughout my degree I have become skilled at a number of different laboratory techniques. My final year research project, 'The study of Leptospirosis in U.K rodents and the risk it exposes during the 2012 Olympics in London' allowed me to improve my laboratory techniques and my research skills. This involved extracting DNA from over 90 rodent kidneys and then identifying the presence of Leptospira using both conventional PCR and real time PCR and then identifying the strain using species specific PCR. The project was delayed a number of times due to equipment fault such as incomplete processing during DNA extraction using the Qiagen Robot. To overcome this, the last process was identified, using the robot instruction booklet and the subsequent steps carried out manually. This has improved both my problem solving skills, aseptic technique as well as accuracy. Studying Cancer Therapeutics at <UNI> will give me the opportunity to further improve my research skills and laboratory practice.

Working at <NAMED> hospital as a <TITLE> Assistant has enabled me to learn to prioritise my workload and meet deadlines, as inappropriate treatment or delays can lead to severe complications if patient notes are not to hand. As part of a large team and my own initiative we provide a service to patients meeting a high standard of care. As a till supervisor in my previous employment I dealt with a lot of issues from both customers and staff and am custom to working under pressure and thinking on my feet.

Staying healthy is an essential part of my lifestyle; I play badminton regularly which keeps me both physically and mentally fit. I enjoy organising events for charities to raise both awareness and money for good causes such as Marie Curie cancer care. Being apart of the Institute of Biomedical Science I well informed of current scientific issues through the monthly journals.

Cancer therapeutics is a field that is ever changing and advancing with new methodology in treatment and prevention being discovered continually. A career in Cancer therapeutics is a great challenge, but I am highly motivated and passionate about the field, and dedicated to applying myself to cancer research. Studying this degree will allow me to further my knowledge in cancer and be apart of innovative research and treatment in the future.

I'm not sure what this means. Other sentences in the introduction are similarly awkwardly phrased.

In the middle of the essay, the sudden shift to talking about your job and then the sudden shift to talking about your leisure activities feel jarring. At minimum, better transitions are needed.

Thank you! will take comments into account and change it

by that i meant its been the backbone of my degree...will alter choice of word in many of the sentences

My new purpose of staement please see if this is better thank you in advance!

The molecular biology of cancer is vital to appreciate and further understand the methods of prevention and treatment. Biomedical Science has further enhanced my knowledge in various aspects of science, in particular the pathology of diseases and the different methods used to treat and diagnose such diseases. Cancer has always been a backbone throughout my degree. During my final year in Medical Biochemistry and the Immunology modules, I learnt what a crucial role the research and findings of biological therapy plays in the treatment of cancer.

My interest of biological therapy stems from a research project in cytokines, where I discovered they were apart of a group known as biological response modifiers (BRMs). Interleukin-2 is an example that illustrates the effective treatment of metastatic kidney cancer and melanoma. New BRMs are continually being discovered and the way in which they function still being researched. A recent revelation in treatment has been endorsed by Boots the chemist where a vaccination against cervical cancer is now offered without a prescription. The vaccination is already available to school age girls on the NHS.

Although research has enabled us to understand cancer to some extent and ways to slow progression has been discovered, there is yet a great deal to learn to reduce the loss of life. I believe understanding the disease and our own immune system will lead us to a better prevention technique. Having the opportunity to study cancer therapeutics will enable me to further my knowledge in this area.

Throughout my degree I have become skilled at a number of different laboratory techniques. My final year research project, 'The study of Leptospirosis in U.K rodents and the risk it exposes during the 2012 Olympics in London' allowed me to improve my laboratory techniques and my research skills. This involved extracting DNA from rodent kidneys and then identifying the presence of Leptospira and the species using different methods of PCR. Due to equipment fault such as incomplete processing during DNA extraction using the Qiagen Robot, the project was delayed. To overcome this, subsequent steps in the process were carried out manually following the robot manual. This has improved both my problem solving skills and aseptic techniques. I excelled at the laboratory and research aspect of my project and would like to further improve my research skills and laboratory practice in regards to cancer.

Working at <NAMED> hospital as a <TITLE> Assistant has enabled me to put in practice the skills I gained throughout my degree. I prioritise my workload and work efficiently to meet deadlines to ensure treatment and investigations are not delayed. As part of a large team and my own initiative we provide a service to patients meeting a high standard of care. As an employee of <NAMED> NHS, I have access to Cliniweb, a database which contains the hospitals guidance on infection control and other clinical properties. A recent guidance outlines the management and treatment of Clostridium difficile.

Being part of the Institute of Biomedical Science I am well informed of current scientific issues through the monthly gazettes and quarterly journals. A recent paper has shown that reactive oxygen species modifies human serum albumin causing it to become immunogenic, leading to lung cancer. As well as reading scientific journals I benefit from reading political reviews and their views on scientific matters. I enjoy both organising and taking part in charity events to raise both awareness and money for good causes such as Marie Curie cancer care.

A career in cancer therapeutics is a great opportunity for me to hone onto my skills and abilities. I am highly motivated and a dedicated individual with a passion in this area. This degree will provide me with the complete knowledge to further myself in innovative research.