(As it was not stated, I assume you have an undergrad degree in IT.)
Whilst at a glance the SoP reads smoothly, it could use some specifics and personalization:
WHY IS THIS THE BEST PATH, WHAT SOCIAL PROGRESS (as you mention doctorate goals at the end.)
A graduate degree programme in IT at <> is the best path for me to follow for my growth both in terms of my career aspiration and my social progress.
With its vibrant community of technology experts whose intense research interests extends from technology through industry to business, <> would offer me an invaluable opportunity to acquire critical and analytical skills to explore digital electronics, specifically embedded computers.
WHAT TECH EXPERTS, WHAT INTENSE RESEARCH INTERESTS WHICH EXTENDS FROM TECH TO BUSINESS ? What, besides embedded computers, is <> renowned for? Any specific profs you want to study or work with? Any Finnish IT co. that particularly impresses you?
I think a year or two in industry will help me consolidate the practical and theoretical knowledge that I would get during my graduate education. I also believe that a short spell in industry would help me determine clearly where I would focus in my further studies.
IS IT NECESSARY TO REPEAT THE POINT IN TWO SENTENCES?
Your close leaves me half-satisfied. Besides earning the degree, how will you contribute to <>? What makes you the grad student they want to admit?
However, given the excellent study facilities at <>, my educational background, and my strong determination to succeed, I will earn my MSc degree.