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'functionality of the human body' - CASPA PA Narrative


Redgirl122 1 / 1  
May 31, 2012   #1
I have tried a few different approaches. This is what I have come up with. I feel that it's not "flowery" enough , but I am just more "to the point". Any thoughts on places I need to expand? Any issues with the order of topics or understanding? Any thought are greatly appreciated .

My path toward becoming a Physician Assistant has not been a direct route, but each stepping stone through my professional and personal life has lead me down this path. I have learned many valuable lessons that will be carried with me throughout my career. I have have worked as a Chiropractic Assistant, Personal Trainer and Group Fitness Instructor and a Cancer Educator. The desire came to me while working in healthcare overtime, in particular while educating cancer patients on overwhelming information available to them and to help them understand their particular plan of care.

However, I felt limited on my ability to help patients from solely a health educator and trainer standpoint; I knew there was more out there for me. I yearned for the knowledge and understanding to support the information I was sharing at such a critical point in their lives. I have a natural propensity to nurture others and a passion for health and wellness. I knew all of my life I would somehow encompass those qualities in a successful career; I just did not know in what way my desires would manifest.

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I gained exposure to the role of a PA years ago as a patient myself, in several unique scopes of practice. While preparing for my first orthopedic surgery, I would see the PA upon initial exams, followed by the orthopedic surgeon. The PA was on my surgical team and provided meticulous care alongside the physician through out all of my follow up care. I also served as an anonymous, altruistic egg donor for several couples in need. This is a very daunting process which requires extreme dedication from both the donor and recipient, as well as the healthcare team. The PA was the glue that held the whole process together. It was the responsibility of the PA to monitor the donor and recipient weekly, then daily and also listening to the concerns that both patients in the process were experiencing. The PA and Physician then communicated on the next course of action on a daily basis. This included the PA communicating the dosage of various injectable medications, all the way to the egg retrieval date, along with the time sensitive preparations involved. I was able to develop a relationship with the PA on my care team, and also had access to my Physician at all times. For me, this made the experience even more rewarding.

In both cases, the PA played a crucial role in the seamless integration of patient care. The PA served as a reputable resource for all of my concerns, whether it be pain management, general questions or a last minute appointment to address any other issues. I felt completely confident in the PAs I have seen as a patient. I want to play that role for patients. Healthcare is a dynamic, ever evolving field and the role of the PA plays a crucial role in expanding quality care to more patients while also allowing both PAs and Physicians to spend more time with each patient. Physicians are also allowed to spend more time with more complex cases.

This is what I had dreamed of when imagining my ideal career. I wanted to truly play an instrumental role in a patient's care. I want a role that is respectable, team oriented ,and provides results to enhance patient care.

My love for learning and fascination of the dynamic functionality of the human body further reaffirms my goal to become a Physician Assistant. I feel as though I have truly found my fit in the world of medicine and cannot wait to begin the road to becoming a Physician Assistant.
PA Applicant 4 / 16 4  
Jun 1, 2012   #2
I have worked as a Chiropractic Assistant, Personal Trainer and Group Fitness Instructor and a Cancer Educator.
^Delete the and.

The desire came to me while working in healthcare overtime, in particular while educating cancer patients on overwhelming information available to them and to help them understand their particular plan of care.

^What desire? "My desire to become a PA...
-while working overtime in healthcare (healthcare overtime sounds a bit awkward)
-Run on sentence
-The desire to become a PA came to me while working overtime in the healthcare environment while educating cancer patients. This education consisted of sharing the overwhelming amount of information available to them while also trying to help them understand their particular plan of care. [maybe something like this?]

It was the responsibility of the PA to monitor the donor and recipient weekly (then daily) and also listeningto listen to the concerns that both patients in the process were experiencing

The PA was on my surgical team and provided meticulous care alongside the physician through out all of my follow up care. I also served as an anonymous...

^Need transition word here. I was on the orthopedic track when you suddenly began talking about egg donor. I agree with "Another experience.."

This included the PA communicating the dosage of various injectable medications, all the way to the egg retrieval date, along with the time sensitive preparations involved.

^Sentence sounds a bit awkward and wordy.

I agree with the above post and her modifications of the last two paragraphs. Also, it sounds like you're kind of just throwing in your fascination with the the functionality of the human body. That would be more of something to introduce in earlier paragraphs rather than the conclusion.

Also, after reading the beginning I thought the essay was going to be about your experience with educating cancer patients since you state "my desire came to me while working in healthcare overtime..." However, after reading your essay it seems like your desire actually came from your own personal experiences being a patient.

One other note- I agree with the above suggestion of not capitalizing job positions. I don't think they are capitalized either but I could be wrong. (chiropractic assistant, personal trainer and group fitness instructor and a cancer educator). I have read numerous times from other essay corrections that physician assistant is not capitalized either but yet when I have read info about PA's it usually is..so I'm not 100% positive!

I hope some of these suggestions help! Good luck!!


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