Essay on"your career plans & how this programme will help you attain your goals?"

Dear all
I am going to apply for International Master in Entrepreneurship Education and Training (IMEET) programme and this is one of the essays I should submit. I would be more than happy if you could kindly check coherency, transparency and structure of my essay.

The vision of this programme is to create an elite of teachers, trainers,and consultants who can contribute both to the fostering of entrepreneurial individuals and to the development of entrepreneurial organizations.

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Describe your career plans and how this programme will help you attain your goals.

Today the business world is facing challenges associated with downsizing big businesses, as well as major reduction in the size of governments. In the near future, information will be replaced by the creativity and entrepreneurship will be a key foundation of future business world by introducing new jobs and ideas.

Because of my strong belief in importance of entrepreneurship, working within entrepreneurship field is my long term career objective. I know in order to work efficient and effective, I first should gain a great depth of theoretical and practical knowledge on the entrepreneurship and get the necessary qualifications to do well. IMEET enables me to do this by combining theory based and practice oriented learning models.

My experience as a teacher also motivated me to apply for this programme. One of my functions as insurance expert is teaching life insurance policies and company web base system to agents. This experience came very natural to me. By a mutual feedback, I tried to know what comes best to my classes and find appropriate and innovative methods to transfer my knowledge and also motivating them for learning. It was a valuable experience to me. Until now, I have successfully trained more than 150 agents. IMEET will strengthen me in this arena by concentration on knowledge of didactics, pedagogy and learning process.

I want to help young people might be possible to become an entrepreneur and control their destiny free from any restraints the world of work has on them. It is a challenge for many of them to consider themselves as entrepreneurs, especially when they have no experience in doing so. It is my desire to help them to see opportunities and possibilities to find ideas that might be new and different and IMEET programme as an extremely innovative programme will help me to achieve my goal.

Furthermore, the interaction among the participants of IMEET programme with a range of experience in the field of entrepreneurship will enhance everyone's prospects for success as a consultant or teacher in entrepreneurship; that will simultaneously enrich the learning environment.

IMEET international environment will also give me the opportunity to share with other participants the notion that we have risen from a culture and grown up, studied and worked in environments entirely different. Sure participants would have interesting stories and ideas about success, failure, gain, loss and also prominent entrepreneurs of our countries.

Let's work on your intro thesis statement and followup paragraph answering the prompt:


Which do you mean to say in these sentences?
-Today's business world faces the challenge of downsizing
-Big business is faced with the challenge of downsizing
-Today's world is faced with the challenge of downsizing, both big business as well as government.
(BTW- The third is a fairly "loaded" statement which will require some convincing back-up.)

-In a close the near future, creativity will be replacing the information (WHAT INFORMATION?? NEED TO SPECIFY) and entrepreneurship will be a key foundation of future society. (THIS IS ALSO VAGUE: WHAT KIND OF FOUNDATION FOR WHAT FUTURE SOCIETY)

You might want to add something that makes this your opinion.


(This follows from the last point...) Because of my strong belief in its importance, entrepreneurship consultancy is my long-term career objective. The IMEET program enables me to do this by...(WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY CONCENTRATING ON DIDACTICS etc. etc. - teach you how to teach entrepreneurship??? Use simpler language.)


From here, the rest of the essay sounds too much like paraphrasing a college catalog. Instead, why not write about what was most meaningful /valuable about your experience teaching 150 agents and why this led you to want to specialize in this field. What skills do you want to acquire? Why do you feel you would be able to motivate others as a consultant?

Yep, good point! Also, that discussion of the thesis is great...

and with this part..."IMEET programme' focus on developing applicants' knowledge of classic and contemporary theories in the field of entrepreneurship to build a differentiated understanding will also give me a new prospective in an academic approach." I think you mean to say "perspective."

But to say that it will give you new perspective is too vague. It is better to talk about specific knoweldge you can gain and exactly how you will use it.

In order to do that, the best thing might be to become even more knowledgeable about your chosen field than you already are. If you do a little more research, you will gain a little more understanding about how this particular program can help you, but more importantly it will give you the inspiration you need to write an essay that is very focused on a particular plan for your future.

Furthermore; Furthermore, the interaction among the participants of IMEET programme with a range of experience in the field of entrepreneurship will enhance everyone's prospects for success as consultants ; that will simultaneously enrich the learning environment.

:-)

Great piece of work,I thought it was okay but Kev and Lin adviced well on it.Hey Zainab,I'm not getting it,Can you tell me is it IMEET Or IMMEET??.Because there some lots places you used IMEET and at one point IMMEET.

-Many thanks Kevin and Linmark. Your tips were really great. I tried to make some changes on my essay considering your guidances but I feel there is a gap between paragraph "My experience as a teacher also...." and rest of my essay. Would you revise my essay again?

-Dear Charz, It is IMEET (International MSc in Entrepreneurship Education & Training). Thank you for reading my essay.

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You are warmly welcome :) Zeinab1383- Is your birthday on 01/03/1983 ?? Ha ha never mind.
Wish you best of lucky,I'm still thinking on how I can compile mine :(..

I tried to know learn what works best to my classes and find appropriate and innovative methods to transfer my knowledge while and also motivating/motivate everyone to learn. for learning.

:-)

EF_Kevin
Thank you Kevin.