ECM program promises to be enriching ;Motivation letter -Energy technology

Hello there,below is the first draft of my motivation letter for a program in Germany,your suggestions and opinions would be immensely helpful.Personally i think it is a tad too long at 920 words and needs to be more streamlined also it does not seem to be compelling enough and lacks freshness,anything i can do to remedy this?

I neutronhammer wish to gain admission to the 'Energy conservation and management (ECM)' Program for the year 2013-2014. I intend to explain my reasons and motivation for doing so in support of my application herein.

Growing up the Physical sciences always held special appeal for me and this lead me to pursue a bachelor's degree in Mechanical engineering program at RVCE since Mechanical engineering for me in a sense represented a natural extension of Physics and the chemical sciences. During my time in college I found myself develop a growing interest in Energy and thermal sciences in particular. I subsequently secured employment with FICHTNER INDIA (FI) an Engineering consultancy firm operating in the Power and utilities sector upon graduation.

My near three year stint at FI proved to be extremely beneficial, where, among others, I was fortunate to be a part of a small but dedicated team of engineers that worked on a 600 MW Mega power project right from its conception to commissioning. During the course of my stay here I not just had the opportunity to put the skills I had accrued over four years of my engineering study to test but it also significantly augmented my knowledge on the subject by giving me a very practical understanding of it. As a project engineer I was exposed to a whole range of new and current technologies spanning diverse areas, from Steam generators and steam Turbines to Water treatment. But equally important are the vital insights it gave me into the commerce and functioning of the Power and energy sector in India because of which I have come to better appreciate it with all its intricacies and is in large part responsible for further reinforcing my interest in Power and energy.

2012 was also quite a tumultuous time for the Power industry in India with many Power providers suffering loses owing to paucity of coal and natural gas and the escalating cost of imported fuels. With natural resources depleting at an accelerating rate and energy consumption on a perpetual upward surge it became plainly apparent to me that there is an exigent need to consolidate what is left of our natural resources and use them in a far more efficient and resourceful manner than is being done presently but it also highlighted the importance of sustainable energy and the central role it would have to assume in the years to come and sparked my appetite for seeking a lasting solution to meet our energy needs.

While conventional methods will continue to remain the mainstay for energy production in many parts of the world for the foreseeable future, the finitude of natural resources necessitates that we gradually wean ourselves off of our dependency on natural resources as part of our greater objective towards achieving complete self-sustainability and suffice to say the progress we make in the following decade will be crucial to shaping our future. In the wake of this there seems to be an increased awareness the world over concerning the need to embrace a greener and a more sustainable approach to energy generation. And although efforts towards integrating sustainable and cleaner methods into the existing energy framework are already underway and fast gathering pace I still believe it is still in its infancy and there is much work ahead. Needless to say the challenge a task of this magnitude poses is quite formidable indeed and in order to facilitate and drive such a change one would undoubtedly require a workforce of skilled professionals and experts and it is this that I'm extremely eager to be a part of and contribute to in whatever capacity possible.

I arrived at the choice of the ECM program at HS Offenburg after extensive deliberation and thought. I find the course content to be multidisciplinary and exhaustive in equal measure, drawing from varied yet pertinent disciplines like Management, Economics and Project planning in addition to its core focus on energy conversion technology. This makes the ECM program especially relevant in the present context given that the challenges confronting us today and those that we are likely to encounter in the immediate future will require a holistic treatment, one that demands a high level of expertise encompassing many of the wider aspects of energy such as feasibility, adaptability and optimization of new and current technologies. All of which have been given due consideration in the program as evidenced by its broad structure. In this regard the ECM program which is tailored to specifically address the most pressing problems of today really stands out from the crowd. As an aside the research being carried out into small scale energy systems is also something that I have tremendous interest in; I have always been an advocate of the 'build from the ground up' school of thought and strongly believe that such self-sustaining small scale energy systems will form the essential elements of a larger whole.

To conclude the ECM program promises to be an enriching and wholesome learning experience. The prospect of sharing a class room with students from different cultures is also one I'm looking forward to and together with its strong curriculum, excellent industry & academic ties, limited batch size and International outlook I'm confident that it will give a fresher perspective and equip me with the requisite skills to explore opportunities in both research as well as in the industry and enable me to forge a career in the field of sustainable energy; an ambition I have long harboured.

Well.... seems you cover important features of letter of motivation, however, it looks a little bit crowded :(
As far as I know, the letter of intent speaks more about your professional goals, how you'd expect to contribute to your community, nation etc., what courses you intend to study, what are your credentials and skills for pursuing it etc.

I found two web sites that give some guidelines as to how you write a letter of motivation. I feel it's worth having a look at them;

ic.daad.de/imperia/md/content/islamabad/letter_of_motivation.pdf
motivationalletter.com
Also, leave one blank line in between the paras so that your essay would have a more tidy look :)

Thank you so much,i'll definately have a look at the links,and yes i'l work on the formating to make it tidier.