Hi,
I just finish my SOP draft for petroleum engineering (Master program). Could anybody help me with modifying my SOP to get success in an application? I will be appreciate to have suggestions from you which I bring your suggestion to improve my SOP.
Thank you!!.
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It's my conviction that the meaning of life is to follow my childhood dream. I wish I could stand and work happily on an oil platform because I lived in southern part of Thailand where a big number of technicians and engineers used to fly over to offshore processing platforms. They aroused my childhood dream with their uniforms and offshore experiences. As time has passed, my life has also changed, and I have encountered trials and errors. But my childhood dream has sparked and constantly remains alive which make me to pursue it.
To achieve my childhood dream, I commenced in Germany as an exchange student. The exchange year required me not only learn the language and have experiences, but it developed me a deep interest in me about engineering, and I started studying engineering without hesitation. Since then, I took chemical engineering courses which are crucial to working for oil and gas field. The Chemical Engineering at XXX University enlightened me with solid basics and specialized academics about Thermodynamics, Engineering Mechanics, Mathematics, General Chemistry, Physics, etc. The consequence of devoting myself to studying allowed me to obtain the 2nd class honor (Accumulate GPA: 3.31) on my undergraduate degree. Moreover, I had a great opportunity to collaborate with XXX as an Internship student in 2011 for 3 months.
During my internship, I assisted my mentor, Mr. XXX, who handed me two projects. Feasibility study of Simplified Well Unloading Unit Installation was one of the projects that greatly dealt with well fluid in scope of petroleum engineering. The feasibility study of Simplified Well Unloading Unit Installation developed concept of utilizing the excess capacity of liquid system in existing Booster Compressor to enhance oil recovery production to decrease back pressure at the well head by modification of existing Booster Compressor. More than assisting in paper work, during that period, I had a chance to go to an offshore platform following up my assisted project and fulfilling my childhood inspiration. Because of that glorious time, more than the experience I gained, I found that petroleum engineering answered my desire with its job descriptions.
However, life was not easy working as a petroleum engineer because my undergraduate education did not qualify me to be a petroleum engineer or to deal with sub surface reservoir jobs. Instead of working in the field of petroleum engineering, I was offered by the XXX (Paper business chain) working in production support department as QA/QC engineer. Not only did I maintain and collaborate with production department to increase paper quality, but also helped the company to obtain awards and maintain certifications. Even though I challenged myself working in Thailand's second biggest company as QA/QC engineer and helped the company obtaining rewards and certifications, my dream reminded me every single minute to persist to follow up my desire. Therefore, I'm keen to apply to your excellent academic institute to accomplish my childhood desire.
The United States is leading the world education in the present-day, especially in the oil field, and XXX is reputed for their leading rank among the top universities with its field in petroleum engineering. I believe that your prestigious university with its advanced education theories, technologies, research and information will reinforce me to reach my childhood inspiration to become an accomplished international professional in the field of Petroleum Engineering. I would be grateful for your consideration, and I look forward to obtain an opportunity being a part of Aggie.
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It's my conviction that the meaning of life is to follow my childhood dream.
.... I feel this should come more simply;
I want to live my childhood dream.I wish I could stand and work happily on an oil platform because I lived in southern part of Thailand where a big number of technicians and engineers used to fly over to offshore processing platforms.
I know I can create the life I want by becoming a petroleum engineer. I admire the quality of life of many other engineers from my hometown in Thailand who have flown over to offshore oil processing platforms. ... However, I doubt whether this idea of talking about other guys is good. I feel you need to come up with stronger arguments than comparisons. Think about it!
