I am basically interested in finding a job that I feel helps other people and makes a difference in the world. I'm not too picky as to whether that will be through housing, health care, education, or any other such field.
Say that, although more formally. Within non-profit circles (or, at least, within progressive non-profit circles), there is an increasing tendency to see how seemingly different problems -- housing, health care, etc. -- are ecologically related to one another. From that view, whichever problem you work on, you are helping with all of them. If this reflects your own view, certainly say so, as that will probably help you.
I also got feedback from a family member who feels that I try to write too complex of sentences ("too many commas") and it is confusing. If I could get some feedback here on that too, I would appreciate it.
Look at this sentence:However, it is K's commitment to providing access to graduate education, via the web based MPA program, that truly makes the pursuit of a Master of Public Administration degree a viable option for me.See how, by making it passive, you not only weakened it, but also added words and commas? Instead, say:
However, it is K's commitment to providing access to graduate education [omit comma] via the web based MPA program [omit comma]
that truly makes the pursuit of a Master of Public Administration degree a viable option for me.