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Social worker in offices at a local hospital - Personal Statement for Grad School


deelyons 1 / -  
Mar 23, 2009   #1
Personal Statement for Grad School. Requires educational, career and why you choose the school.

Personal Statement
My place of employment inspired me to become a social worker. I have provided support services in the social work offices at a local hospital. The service populations consist of diverse individuals and families, including minorities and underprivileged groups. My positions have been challenging and inspirational. For example, some patients would be angry and would refuse to follow the procedures. Overtime and with training, I have learned how to work effectively with difficult clients. Unfortunately, my ability to assist was limited because of licensing requirements. So, I enrolled in school and attend classes at night. This was difficult because I am also a single parent. However, my desire to become a social worker kept me focused. I completed the program after several years and transferred to undergraduate school. The final step is to attend Graduate Studies in Social Work in the fall of 2009.

Now, my immediate goal is to become a licensed social worker. I want to provide clinical services to families and children in a hospital or school setting. This will enable me to counsel individuals and families. In addition, I would be able advocate, protect and assist patients with other issues that may occur.

I have chosen this school because the program specializes in urban studies. This program will be beneficial to my education and career because I am also employed in an urban environment.
saloni 1 / 1  
Mar 24, 2009   #2
Please check the word limit specified. You'll probably find it in the faqs. I think your statement shows your intent very well, but it is a little short. A few fixes--

Americans, and/or underprivileged. In this line of work I have been exposed...

So >remove comma< I enrolled in school and attended... This was difficult beacuse i am also a single mother..

kept me focussed.

Additionally, I have chosen your school because of ... consider rewriting this para. The information is all there, but i think you can frame it better.

All the best!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 24, 2009   #3
My place of employment inspired me to become a social worker. I have provided support services in the social work offices at a local hospital. The service populations consist of diverse individuals and families, including minorities and underprivileged groups. I have been exposed to many types of situations. For this part I crossed out, say something more specific! :)

Nice, you seem serious and articulate! Can you tell a little more about what you hope to do with your degree? I see that you want to work in a hospital or school, but can you be more specific about the contribution you want to make? Just a little more specificity would help! It is a big field with many aspects, and the reader of this essay will want to see a clearly envisioned goal.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 27, 2009   #4
Good!! This flows nicely and it shows your eloquence. I don't think the last 2 sentences need to be in their own paragraph -- merge them into the previous one!

:)

Also:
Over time and with training, I have learned how to work effectively with difficult clients.

"Overtime", as one word, means working late.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Mar 29, 2009   #5
You might also want to consider combining some of your sentences. At the moment, they all tend to be the same length and to have more or less the same structure, which gets a bit monotonous. Apart from that, the essay looks solid.


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