I am applying to PhD on mechatronics, control and robotics, and this is my essay. Please help me to revise it and shorten it...thanks！
I'm an amateur writer, the first prize winner of the Youth Essay Competition of Beijing and the author of quite a few fictions. What makes a writer? The incredible creativity to build dreams for readers. However, creativity without hard work brings only science fictions rather than scientific breakthroughs. Luckily, I am a creator in life with deliberateness and perseverance, and these qualities of mine filled me with the confidence to weave my own dream and to make it come true.
My dream is to become a professional researcher in mechatronics and robotics. Having read about several papers news about the da Vinci Surgical System, I have been totally intrigued by the telemanipulation and environment modeling technology it used. Through further reading about the research you and your team is carrying on, I found that the cutting-edge explore on haptics, telemanipulation, and control strategies to overcome the problem of time delay really fascinated me. Thus I'd like to lay my research interest in telerobotics for my doctoral work, and I am wondering whether it is possible that I can work under your supervise.
The spark of my pursuit for further study was ignited when I found that I really enjoy researching. Unlike those who feel it difficult to discipline themselves to one topic, I like focusing on a single task at one time, keeping working for a solitary goal, and that goal can dominate my mind until it is being completed. Despite the demanding schedule, heavy workload, and difficulties that may challenge my confidence, exploration into uncharted places of knowledge is inviting, exciting and worthwhile for me. I'd like to meet these challenges through my graduate study, and enjoy the rewards of conducting original research and formulating new knowledge at the mean time.
During my undergraduate studies, I have made great efforts to explore in control, robotics and mechatronics. Ranking 3rd in my class (32 in total), I'm not satisfied with the required courses. I have read many books and papers on robotics to learn the basic principles of robotics systematically. To better understand that, I audited differential geometry and manifold in my sophomore year, which is a course for math-majored senior students in our university. I have to admit that this is not easy for me; I often felt frustrated when I cannot establish the concept of manifold in mind when reading their applications in describing a manipulative arm. Through painstaking effort I have finally laid a solid theoretical foundation in robotics, and I can read papers in robotics with ease now.
Dedicated to theoretical study, I have developed the habit of seizing every chance to improve my practice and analysis ability. Seeing the tragedies caused by frequent earthquakes and fires in the past years, I decided to design a machine that could help people escape from high-rise building safely under such occasions. Thus in my second year in Tsinghua I led a team to work on this project. Traditional devices cannot guarantee a uniform falling speed, making them dangerous for users and were not practical for most families. To overcome this insufficiency, we used a permanent magnet DC motor and a magnetic break to eliminate the falling kinematic energy, and achieved the goal of constant falling speed through careful calculation and parameter selection. I cannot remember how many sleepless nights we have spent to build up the prototype machinery, and how many times we really wanted to give up due to disappointments in experiments. As the team leader I kept encouraging my partners when experiments cannot processed smoothly. I cannot help my tears when our design finally won the approval of professors, and turned into several patents. I really appreciate this experience, for it has not only taught me how to do independent research but also improved my team spirit and the perseverance to hold the hope when coming across disappointments and difficulties.
To apply my robotics knowledge to practical research, I participated in a more ambitious research, designing and making an articulated arm to measure operational region and ability of astronaut in EVA spacesuit, and it has contributed to my greater understanding of robotics and control theory. This project is sponsored by the Medical Department of Chinese Aerospace Institute, and I cannot help my excitement in thinking of my work can contribute to the extra-vehicular exploration of Chinese astronauts. The measuring system we designed is a passive articulated manipulator with angular sensors installed in every joint, and a handle with force sensors on the extremity of arm. When astronaut moves the handle, the position of handle and the operational force could be obtained in real-time. Although in this project my work was to establish the Mathematical model based on Denavit-Hartenberg equations and to develop software by VC++ and MATLAB for coordinate calculation and display, I realized the data acquiring is so crucial that I took initiative to work on this with graduate students. We chose a potentiometer angular sensor in the beginning and found that the analog signal is not satisfying after sampling, and the problem could not be solved after our frustrating trying other filters and algorithms. Finally we had to adopt grating angular sensors to get digital angular signals. After the measuring robot performed successfully, I continued my work to improve its precision. We introduced the improved genetic algorithm to identify structure parameters, and its effectiveness was demonstrated by the success of calibration experiments was. Working in laboratory together with graduate students is a bonus, as I learnt how to deal with practical difficulties in research and how to perform well in labs.
Our design of measuring robot is based on the sponsor's requirements; however, it is still far away from the ideal one in my mind. For example, the force that needed to move the handle can change drastically through the measuring process, making it difficult for astronauts to operate. Such insufficiency, to some degree, can be attributed to my knowledge limitation on both robotics and control theory. Therefore I clearly understand how necessary further study in related subjects is to perfect and then implement my notions. Berkeley is definitely my best choice. Your world-renowned labs like Mechanical System Control Lab can provide excellent opportunity to do strong research in my interested field. My dream of becoming a leading professional in control and robotics will propel me into Berkeley and into the challenging researches in the future.
Hello Lei,
Since you wish to attend Berkeley, you really need to present a sharp essay. It seems you have a hard time grasping written English. Your word choices are fine, but in almost every single sentence there is a problem with agreement. Since you state that you want to be a researcher and publishing is a major part of being a researcher, you need to make sure you statement of purpose is as succinct as possible with no grammatical errors. Also, your opening paragraph has very little to do with your actual program of interest. You should change this and focus your opening paragraph more on why you should be admitted to study ME on a PhD level. We can help you with this- admissions essay advice
I'm an amateur writer, the first prize winner of the Youth Essay Competition of Beijing and the author of quite a few works of fiction . What makes me a writer? The incredible creativity to build dreams for readers .
Hope This Helps
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