hey
i'm applying for a management based course and just need someone to proof-read my personal statement before i submit it ..any suggestions are welcome! :) the prompt says --describe your academic interests, ambitions, research interests and explain the reasons why you want to undertake graduate study in the subjects you have chosen. this is your chance to introduce yourself...
"There is nothing in this world, I venture to say, that would so effectively help one survive even the worst conditions as the knowledge that there is meaning in one's life". I realised the significance of author Viktor Frankl's words when I was trying to survive the most difficult time in my life. My best friend in school had died in a car accident. I was devastated and overcome with despair. Nothing made sense. I started to see every conversation, meal and experience as possibly my last. I started to withdraw and isolate myself. I was spiraling downwards and desperately needed help. That help came from Ms Kapoor, the school counselor. She did a lot more for me than just help me "cope", she changed my life. She helped me find meaning and joy again. So when the time came to pick my major in college, I chose psychology. I just had to learn more about a subject which had such an impact on my life and made me realise that the meaning in my life came from my relationships.
Today, I pride myself in being an extrovert. I value the wide network of friends that I have made during my varied pursuits. My closest friends have been my teammates on the editorial board, debating, dramatics, basketball, and athletics teams. Study sessions with my friends in enrichment classes, meant for students with potential, were instrumental in helping me secure the 3rd rank in the school leaving examinations and scoring the highest marks in the Business Studies and Psychology papers. They have been a great support in all my endeavours and have helped me grow as a human being.
The most challenging time in my life was heading the student union as Vice President while organising the college cultural symposium. It was a daunting task since neither my team nor I had any experience in organising such a large scale event. The one thing that I learnt and will always carry with me is that the greatest motivation comes from a goal that one truly believes in. It was amazing to see the pertinence of theories that I had learnt in Psychology such as Maslow's Need Hierarchy and Vroom's Expectancy Theory to real management issues. I observed the importance of feedback and reinforcement and the necessity of a structured communication system. I am convinced that a background in Psychology has not only made me a better human being but also a better leader.
[country] is a fast growing economy which has done exceedingly well in the recent past. However, a quarter of our population still lives below the poverty line and unemployment rates are close to 8 percent. There is a still a lot which needs to be done for the effective utilization of the human capital in [country] where 65 percent of the population is of working age. My long term goal is to be a part of the Ministry of [...], Government of [..], and to make a meaningful contribution to the policies and strategies which will directly affect our nation's future. My immediate goal is to gain the necessary knowledge and skills which would enable me to compete and excel in my chosen field.
I believe that [college] has an excellent academic program taught by eminent faculty who are pioneers in their own rights. It would be a wonderful opportunity to interact with and learn from the best and brightest minds in the field. I would gain immensely from the work done by Professor [x] relating to [x] and Dr [x]'s research relating to [y]
I have chosen to pursue my higher studies in [country] to gain from its culturally diverse environment. Today's dynamic global scenario emphasizes on the need for specialization, innovation, and ability to adapt and I wish to imbibe these values with the best training at a leading university. I am confident that the [department] with its distinguished faculty and facilities will help develop my personal and professional potential. In addition, I hope to make a meaningful contribution to your student body with my unique experiences and achievements. Thank you for your time and consideration.
saloni sood
Today, I take pride myself in being an extrovert.
..."helping me secure the 3rd rank in the school leaving examinations ...."
This should probably be the final exams? I just assumed that was what you meant.
Today's dynamic global scenario emphasizes on the need for specialization, innovation, and the ability to adapt, and I wish to imbibe these values with the best training at a leading university.
Here are a few minor fixes, but your essay is very well set up and written.
Good luck!
:)
