For my graduate application I am supposed to write a narrative explaining what has motivated me to become a PA, please review the beginning part of my narrative and give me feedback. I really want to display my life story but I am afraid of being too unprofessional, please help me.
All my life, I have felt this pressing desire to aid others with the obstacles they faced whether medical or not. As a child, I had this dream of growing up to become a superhuman hero that can take everyone's pain away. I thought I would be invincible against all the pain and suffering in the world.
When I was seven, tragedy struck my family. My grandmother was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, and after years of fighting, was overcome and passed away at age 61. It was at that moment that I realized this dream of curing others ails was my calling. I wanted to help my grandmother, I wanted to heal her. I was too young then to understand that I was not trained or knowledgeable enough to save her. I gave my heart to medicine that day.
The tragedy of my Grandmother's passing occurred while my family was moving from Illinois to Virginia. I was starting elementary school halfway through the school year at a brand new institution. For weeks, none of my classmates extended friendship to me and I felt totally alone. One day a young girl sat at my lunch table, her name was Danielle. I thought I finally connected with someone and began becoming more comfortable with my new surroundings. About three months into my new school year, a counselor met with our class. We were told that Danielle had cancer and she had died that weekend. Once again I felt total devastation, another person I loved died from a disease. I did not understand why there was nothing I could to do to save her.
Over the years since then, I myself have battled with diseases, injuries, and infections. I have discovered firsthand the difficult decisions and procedures doctors have to perform to aid their patients. Each battle I faced has just led me right back to the path of medicine. I feel as though God has given me these tragedies to prepare me for the difficulties of the medical field.
Last year, I joined Buies Creek Fire and Rescue Squad located near Campbell University. I have been functioning as an Emergency Medical Technician since March 2011. This was my first step into the medical world. I have had my own patients and have faced the difficult, life-saving decisions and have been blessed enough to aid in saving someone's life. Emergency Medicine was like a test for me, a chance to better grasp if this difficult, rewarding field was the one I wanted to be involved in for the rest of my life. This experience has indeed shown me my calling in life, to help those in medical need.
I believe that I would be a great candidate for Campbell's Physician Assistant Program because of my love, determination, and dedication to this field. I have had a yearning for the medical field since I was just a child. I am determined to succeed in this field and will perform any and every task to the excess of my ability. I will never give up, no matter what obstacle stands in my way. I believe that I would represent this program with dedication, perseverance, and professionalism. I believe that Campbell University's Physician's Assistant Program is program I meant to be a part of and I would be honored to be accepted to it.
All my life, I have felt this pressing desire to aid others with the obstacles they faced whether medical or not.
As a young child, I had this dream of growing up to become a superhuman hero who can take everyone's pain away.
It was at that moment that I realized this dream of curing others ails was my calling.---Was your grandmother fairly young when she passed? I think it would go a long way in making your essay more personal, if you write what age she was. (Every little bit might help!)
One day a young girl sat at my lunch table, and her name was Danielle.
We were told that Danielle had cancer and she had died that weekend. ---Oh! That's terrible! Your essay is off to a good start, so when you finish, send it back through here for another look!
:)
Wow! So sorry about all of your losses, but you have completely pulled me in with your beginning. I Iook forward to reading the final version.
I think one thing you can do to "not sound young" is to take the word young out and say ===> As a child I dreamed of growing up ....
Also, take out second grade and say===> elementary school instead....
All the best!
