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Strong alumni net /Life-long legacies/Credibility; Automotive Engineering


Alex Wu 1 / 4  
Jan 5, 2013   #1
Hello,

Any feedback is welcome and NEEDED. Thanks!!!

Since the first time I watched the Formula 1 Racing (F1) live on TV in 2003, I have developed a particular interest and everlasting passion in the automotive engineering. All these technologies, like the kinetic energy recovery systems [KERS], seamless-shift gearboxes, aerodynamics and engine technology, even give rise to rounds of tech wars among those technical directors, who are dedicated to squeeze out the maximum amount of speed from within the restricted regulations. I determine to pursue a master's degree in the field of Automotive Engineering at XXX University, known for meticulous work ethics and stimulating academic atmosphere. If I had to sum up my reasons for postgraduate study in one sentence, it would be "I want to know more". As a senior student majoring in mechanical engineering, this is the right time for me to embark myself into further study to grasp the key technologies for the next generation F1 racing car.

In retrospect, enjoying the pure theories in mathematics and mechanics is the most intriguing part of my undergraduate study. Lame performance in Advanced Mathematics and C Programming, which was due to my hubris contempt, can never conceal my talent. Fully taking advantage of my learning skills and intelligence, I got exceptional high scores in other core courses including Linear Algebra (96/100), Complex Function and Integral Transformation(92/100),Theoretical Mechanics(94/100) and Mechanics of Materials (99/100). One worth recalling is my enthusiasm of Mechanics of Materials, during the study of which I re-deduced the entire theorem in the textbook and ranked top 3 among registered students. Induced by my interest, I participated in the 8th National College Student "XXX" Mechanics Competition, and consequently awarded the winner's prize, the best achievement in the ME department. Conscious of the significance of mathematics, I selected the courses like Computing Method and Computational Geometry to enhance my mathematical capacity in simulating and modeling. In addition, I audited Automotive Powertrain and Control at YYY University every Wednesday in this semester. It is a tough experience struggling with such heavy course loads, but I am convinced that a stronger background will help me achieve higher goals in the future.

Unlike many other Chinese students, who only value performance in exams, I made a point of learning through my own hands-on experiences. In my freshman year, facing the challenge of touching the chemical instrument for the first time in my life, I finished the University Chemistry with 91, the highest in my class. In a physical experiment, though told to neglect the low accuracy of the device used and the corresponding unsatisfactory resolution of our final result, I, however, after two days' persistent trial in the lab, made the diffraction angle of the hydrogen lamp controlled in a continuous range and reduced the relative error by 19%. After that, I even co-authored a booklet teaching fellow students how to simplify the instruction and procedures for all the physical experiments. Considering an excellent mechanical engineer demanding more than theoretical knowledge, I pointedly enhanced my practical skills in 2D drawing and 3D modeling during my internship in the Institute of Electrical Engineering, Chinese Academy of Sciences in Sep.2010.

Synthesizing mathematics and mechanics, I knocked on the door of control. In the course of Fundamentals of Control Engineering, I got rigorously trained in classical control theories. Via scheming PI control for DC servo motors, I obtained the first hand practical experiences. Then, with the inverted pendulum, I tested and grasped some modern control theories like pole-placement method and linear quadratic optimal control, while became competent in MATLAB and hardware-in-the-loop simulation. In the course of Electrical & Control Engineering, using microcontroller to make the four LED lights twinkling held me completely spellbound at the first sight. After that class, I spent a whole day developing a control strategy to make the step motor to change rotational speed and direction using UART. I also finished the simulation of an interpolation algorithm all by myself. With the course project, despite existing stepping motor control system, I preferred to re-develop it all by myself using C# language and realized the difference of the port transceiving mechanism between AVR and C# language, consequently conferred the best course project. These earned me a high score in the experimental part of the course, and completely awakened my passion.

With a strong theoretical basis, I started to upgrade my research abilities and practical skills. I participated in our university annual Technological Works Competition with a 2nd prize work the enhanced vision system of unmanned aerial vehicle, in which the control system was developed by me. To establish a robust transmission system, which is the crucial part of the project, I finally got the PanTilt Camera under control calling the Kalman filtering algorithm, which offers high work speed, certain accuracy, and takes less resource. During preparation for the FREESCALE Cup intelligent car racing competition, I was in charge of the smart car steering system. Owning to the maladjustment of the parameters Kp, Ki and Kd in different situations, I shake my faith to apply the usual PID control algorithm to achieve the ideal effect. Recalling my previous study in fuzzy mathematics, I came up with the combination of PID and fuzzy control and developed a new steering system, which consists of Freescale MC9s12DG128B single-chip microcomputer, steering engine and the logic level signal collecting system, providing the relative position error E and error change EC as the fuzzy control input variables. Track test showed that the fuzzy-PID steering system, with both flexibility-adaptability of fuzzy control and high accuracy of PID control, can reduce about 3s in a 64.5m lap, compared with the PID controller.

Truly interested in vehicle dynamics and control, here I choose the M.S.E. Program in your ME department for her comprehensive supports to my growth and career. The internationally renowned Automotive Research Center, as well as three XXX Collaborative Research Labs in Advanced Vehicle Manufacturing will greatly facilitate my experimental study about the automotive engineering.Your course 'Automotive Engineering' exactly caters to my craving for systematical knowledge of automotive design and specific topics like various suspension types and systems analysis.A semester team-based design project can train me to tune vehicle responses for best ride.Courses like 'Vehicle Dynamics' and 'Advanced Nonlinear Control' can equip me with solid knowledge of how to get high levels of down-force so as to get the best amount of aerodynamic grip via the configuration. Having learned undergraduate course 'The Theory of Automatic Control'and XXX's on-line Control Tutorials for MATLAB and Simulink, I am confident in ensuring my excellent performance in these courses and independent research. Thus I believe that your university is the most ideal place for me to obtain advanced research skills as well as a unique study experience in XXX. Most significantly, XXX's strong alumni net and the credibility of graduating from a top engineering school are going to be life-long legacies, in addition to gaining me a stellar career.
OP Alex Wu 1 / 4  
Jan 5, 2013   #2
WHY NO REPLY?
I really need your suggestions!
Thank you guys!!!
sobegreentea972 1 / 15 2  
Jan 5, 2013   #3
I'm still an undergraduate... but damn paragraph 4 and 5 is greek to me. Didn't even bother reading it.

life-long legacies , in addition to gaining mebeginning? a stellar career.

I think this should be legacy ; you only have one life, therefore, singular subject.

gaining me sound self-centered ... doesn't look good.
OP Alex Wu 1 / 4  
Jan 5, 2013   #4
sobegreentea972
Thank you very much.It's impressive to me!
OP Alex Wu 1 / 4  
Jan 7, 2013   #5
Does anyone has any more suggestions to me ?
Your reply will be greatly appreciated!
Thannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnk you!!!
admission2012 - / 477 90  
Jan 7, 2013   #6
Hello,

This SOP clearly reads as though you didn't write it yourself. Not only that, but it appears that it was written by a non-native English speaker due to the abnormal overuse of "SAT" type words and the way the words are structured. However, the more important thing here is the content. It seems you have some good experience and great grades but this SOP comes off as overly confident. You continuously boast about how good you are at this and that and focus a good chunk of this SOP on things that you did alone but with a very selfish, anti-teamwork tone. It will rub many readers the wrong way as you seem overly egotistical. In an SOP your main goal is to point out your interests and how the program you are applying to has the resources to help you enhance those, but also you should come across as genuine, eager to learn, somewhat vulnerable and as a team player. This SOP fails on all these levels. -AAO

Hope this helps.
OP Alex Wu 1 / 4  
Jan 7, 2013   #7
admission2012
Thank you very much!!!!
I need more constructive suggestions like yours.


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