Hello All
This is my first time posting here. I was hoping to get some help for my statement of interest. I already had a few people look at it but I'm still not that confident about it. I was hoping some fresh eyes can look at over and provide me with feedback, it will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much.
The following are expectations:
Autobiographical Essay
Format:
- One or two pages
- Single-spaced
- Printed on plain paper
- Applicants name must appear at the top of the essay
What should be included in the autobiographical essay:
- A clear statement of why the applicant wants to do research in Physiology at the University of Toronto.
- Special accomplishments
- Academic interests and future plans
- Summary of strong points in academic and research background
- Applicants might also wish to include a brief explanation of a gap in educational history (i.e. medical reasons, employment, etc.)
This is my statement of interest:
To Whom It May Concern:
My name is Maria Mustafa and I have recently completed my BSc. at the University of Guelph with a major in Biomedical Science and minor in Neuroscience. I am writing this letter of interest with the hope to attend University of McGill for Physiology. The following explains why I would be an ideal candidate for the Masters of Science position.
During my undergraduate studies, I had the opportunity to explore different areas of research field as a research assistant and primary researcher. My expedition began in the lab of Dr. Mark Fenske as an assistant researcher. His research utilized computer applications to perform neuroscience related cognitive studies on humans. I had the opportunity to assist in research and gain deeper understanding of e-prime software, which is specifically used to design psychology experiments, data collection and analysis.
Although Dr. Fenske's research was intriguing, I found being the primary researcher for a study in Dr. Boyer Winters's lab presented me with new challenges. I learned to design, alter and troubleshoot my experiments under the supervision of the professor. The background research performed prior to the experiment commencement assisted to build the foundation and to better understand each research project's rationale. This project's primary objective was to develop a rodent model of Paired Associate Learning (PAL) task for the understanding of etiology and potential treatment of age-related cognitive impairments. During this project, I gained an appreciation for the molecular aspects of Alzheimer disease-related memory deficits and to utilize EthoVision XT software to conduct behavioral analysis.
During September 2010- April 2011, I was devoted to conduct research for Biomedical Science (major). Similar background research was necessary prior to the execution of the experiment. I worked with one of the faculty members in cardiovascular research, Dr. Ron Johnson. Along with understanding of the core effects of drugs such as norepinephrine, clonidine and potassium chloride on in-vitro vasculature, I was able to gain micro-dissection skills. This study deepened my understanding of the impact of stress on cardiovascular system.
The final study I performed was under the supervision of a faculty member in cardio-respiratory research, Dr. Jeremy Simpson. I had the opportunity to develop and form distinctive western blots for the detection of proteins released from fibroblast and cardiac myocyte cells undergoing stress.
These experiences have shaped me into a keen researcher with a critical eye. I would like to continue such detailed research in the lab of Physiology at the University of McGill. Although my past research was devoted to understanding diseases associated with neural and cardiovascular changes, I am interested in all aspects of human biology. I am a devoted student, who can contribute a fresh perspective if given the opportunity.
In the future, I would like to continue in the field of research and gain further insight into the development of disease. Furthermore, I would like to use acquired knowledge to develop treatment and implement them as a physician.
Sincerely,
Maria Mustafa
Maria,
There are many issues with this SOP. It reads more like a generic cover letter than a SOP. 1)There is no need to state that you just finished your Bsc., The admissions officers will already know this. Secondly and probably the most important aspect is you should take the time to research the school to ensure you know the correct name of the school. The University of McGill does not exist. It is McGill University or The McGill University. Lastly, instead of dropping generic experiences you've had with research, try to elaborate on one or two. This will make the research you have completed seem more substantial and credible to admissions officers.
Sorry about University of McGill, I was thinking about another university when I wrote that. I know it seems like a generic letter, but that was because I was thinking about applying to multiple universities and for programs such as physiology, pathology and medical biophysics. Thank you for replying, but I just had one question, which experiences should I expand on? I contacted one of my professors to prof-read, and he told me not to elaborate, I'm a little confused about whether i should or not. :S
Thank you
Maria
Hello,
I wouldn't be able to tell you which experiences you should elaborate on because you don't really talk about any of them. You should take two experiences and talk about what you did at that lab and how you contributed to the research efforts there. I am not sure why this professor told you not to elaborate, maybe he does not want you to get accepted. Professors are all about research. They love it. Since most Graduate School programs use professors as admissions officers, the more in detail you talk about your research the better. I have been helping students get accepted to graduate school for years now. Many of my clients have been accepted to top Universities with full funding. I would never allow a client to send such a generic letter, even if it is to be used by multiple programs. What you should do is create a separate SOP for each application group.
I haven't finished but I wanted to get your feedback on what I have written so far.
To Whom It May Concern:
Desiderius Erasmus once said Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself. Though I believe he was referring to the spiritual aspect of life, it can be applicable to the understanding of human physiology. The light, a symbol for understanding, can overcome the darkness, being something we often dread, which is the fear of a disease. This comprehension is dependent upon our knowledge of normal human functioning. If we know how a normal body works, the missing element in the abnormal body can be effortlessly deduced. This is where research plays an essential role.
Although the human kind is yet to discover a cure for Alzheimer Disease (AD), we have actively assembled an exceptional understanding of its effect. We have acquired the knowledge of its cause being neurofibrillary tangles and beta amyloid plaque. However, we have yet to detect the disease in its early stage, dementia. If this can be performed, we can start the patient on medications, preserving the vast amount of neurons in the transentorhinal cortex. This was the understanding used when developing my research project with Dr. Boyer Winters. I successfully developed a rodent model of Delayed Matching to Position (DMTP) task, to ensure the rodents can spatial distinguish each arm of the maze. This task formed the foundation for Paired Associate Learning (PAL) task, which associates visual and spatial memory. This is often severed in AD patients. After such task is developed, the rodents memory will be impaired by scopolamine, and with the efforts of trial and error, the treatment will be formulated.
