Please I need urgent editing on this SOP. Can you also kindly advice on the length of the essay. Thank you.
Achieving your heart desire is success; and success is an effect, coming from the application of a cause. Petroleum Engineering aroused in me the enthusiasm to contribute my part to the global environment, since the effects of fossil energy and other petroleum products are very much concerning, both in terms of health and economical aspects. It is this dream that has urged me to my decision to be associated with the Petroleum Engineering program in your renowned university and I believe this would be the greatest factor I required for achieving my ultimate professional goal in the field of Petroleum Engineering.
The challenges involved in the application of scientific theory through research to practical problems and the broad range of opportunities to contribute to society through technological innovation was my drive into the field of engineering. The interdisciplinary nature of the XXX Engineering course at my undergraduate level education gave me the strong foundation I required both in academic knowledge and practical experience for further studies in petroleum engineering. Aside from the technical courses which included fluid mechanics, thermodynamics, rock and soil mechanics, physical and analytical chemistry, etc. I was also exposed to hands - on experimentations especially in fluid mechanics and petroleum engineering course works. I graduated with first class honors and it was once again proven to me that through hard work and a clear aim, you can always reach your goals.
After graduating, I was fortunate to work as a XXX engineer at XXX, with a team of structural and chemical engineers. During the program, I sought to learn more in the process designs in materials processing. I was therefore assigned to work in different sections with different responsibilities and I found that I like the process designs and construction works the most. This was when I took up the research, construction and implementation of "Rotating Biological Contactor" project with my team of engineers. Under supervision of senior management, we conducted detailed research and thorough analysis. The methodical construction and the combination of theory and practical knowledge led us to tangible results. This has been one of our major achievements for the company.
At XXX, I learnt to visualize abstract concepts, to apply concepts to industrial projects in real time and to work under strict time constraints. Having this experience of work in the field, has given me a better understanding of the application of academic engineering in a real business environment.
After two years working experience in the XXX industry and a successful undergraduate education, I would like to take my achievements to the next level. I thought carefully of my career options and realized that during these challenging periods of unrelenting research worldwide for extraction technologies to bring out the maximum remaining petroleum, this would be the perfect time to contribute. For that I need a unique advantage which I believe would be truly delivered by your esteemed university. There is nothing that excites me more than the thought of focusing my energy on topics like....
I am also interested in the design of multiphase pipelines and flow assurance in marine pipelines since these are some of the major challenges to the petroleum industry.
... is reputed for its sphere in petroleum engineering, which ranks among the top universities in USA. The specialty has a very strong faculty and advanced research facilities. It offers remarkable research - intensive programs. Such an academic environment agrees well with my academic and research interests. In my future program, I will continue to build up my academic knowledge, consolidate my basic skills and learn the most recent advanced technologies. I look forward to a rewarding association with ... University.
First of all I believe the lenght of the essay should be reviewed. as for SOP, readers expect a 2 page essay. this is not fix but to me, i have seen the SOPs to be lenghty. there are lots of valuable examaples in this forum.
some grammer mistake i noticed:
believe this would be the greatest factor I have required for achieving my
detailed research and thorough analysis. The (dot should be ommited)
and as the last paragraph the sentences are very short. try to connect them with connectors like Moreover, in addition, what`s more, besides, thus, therefore, etc.
Thank you guys so much for the replies. Below is the edited version and your views will always be cherished.
It is my conviction that the meaning of life does not dwell in the length of time that one can live or the material abundance that one can acquire, but in the richness and the wonderfulness of life itself. With the increase of my age, many things in my life have changed. But one thing remains constant, that is, I will consistently insist on doing what I like to do and hope that my endeavours can be valuable to the life of others. I see this as the only way whereby I can realize the value of my life.
To contribute my part to the global environment, since the effects of fossil energy and other petroleum products are of great concern, both in terms of health and economical aspects is what whipped my interest in Petroleum Engineering. It is this dream that made me interested in the Petroleum Engineering program in your renowned University and I believe this is what will spree me up to achieving my ultimate professional goal in the field of Petroleum Engineering. I take this opportunity to describe my educational background and career objectives that motivated me to apply for the Masters Program in Petroleum Engineering.
I completed my higher secondary education with an above average in basic sciences. The interdisciplinary nature of my undergraduate education in Mining Engineering at University of Mines and Technology (the only Mining Engineering University in sub-Saharan Africa), gave me the strong foundation I required both in academic knowledge and practical experience for further studies in Petroleum Engineering. Apart from the technical courses which included fluid mechanics, thermodynamics, rock and soil mechanics, physical and analytical chemistry, etc. I was also exposed to hands - on experimentations especially in fluid mechanics and petroleum engineering course works.
My Undergraduate program motivated me to pick up several projects. One of these projects entitled "Selecting a suitable pump and dewatering system for an Underground mine", was a group research activity that, under the supervision of Dr. A. Asante, aimed at optimizing the existing pumping system to minimize head losses and cavitations. As compared to the existing design, the results from our simulation showed that, our design gave better throughput and the effects of cavitation such as erosion of the rotating blade, additional noise from the resultant knocking and vibrations were reduced. This therefore, increased the overall efficiency of the system. I graduated with first class honors and it was once again proven to me that through hard work and a clear aim, you can always reach your goals.
I am currently employed at Golden Star Resources, one of the largest mining companies in Africa. For the past two years, I sought to learn more in the extraction process designs in mining/materials processing. I was therefore assigned to work in different sections with different responsibilities and I have been actively involved in several projects with a team of structural and chemical engineers. This has helped me gain tremendous practical knowledge in the mining and extraction fields.
Furthermore, I am immensely involved in projects pertaining to optimizing the mining pit designs and also the output of the processing plant due to enormous number of challenges, thrown out by rapid development in science and technology and the international economy. In one assignment, I took up the research, construction and implementation of "Rotating Biological Contactor" pilot project with my team of engineers, which aimed at treating the cyanide contaminated water from the processing plant with bacteria slime on a series of circular rubber disks mounted on a common shaft. The bacteria through the effect of oxygen, absorbs the cyanide (inorganic matter) for aerobic decomposition, thus leaving the waste water clean.
The optimization and development of a new cut-back pit, incorporating Whittle and Surpac software and ascertaining its viability through economic and sensitivity analyses were also some of my key projects, which under the supervision of senior management; I conducted detailed research and thorough analysis leading to great achievements.
At Golden Star Resources, I learnt to visualize abstract concepts, to apply concepts to industrial projects in real time and to work under strict time constraints. Having this experience of work in the field, has given me a better understanding of the application of academic engineering in a real business environment.
Apart from professional life, I believe that extra curricular activities are as important as studies in estimating a person's overall capacity. As a scrabble player and soccer player representing the university, I am in a position that many athletes would covet. I feel that I have evolved into a dynamic person due to my commitment to many extra-curricular activities at the highest level.
After a successful undergraduate education and two years working experience in the mining industry, I would like to take my achievements to the next level. I thought carefully of my career options and realized that during these challenging periods of unrelenting research worldwide for extraction technologies to bring out the maximum remaining petroleum, this would be the perfect time to contribute. For that I need a unique advantage which I believe would be truly delivered by your esteemed university.
I have been captivated by the Masters in Petroleum Engineering because it is a cross-disciplinary field which is devoted to research, teaching and dialogue. XXX University has also established itself as a site of academic creativity and the transmission of knowledge. Also XXX University has developed ever higher ethical standards and steadily increased in quality and the will to innovation. There is nothing that excites me more than the thought of focusing my energy on topics like....I am also interested in the design of multiphase pipelines and flow assurance in marine pipelines since these are some of the major challenges to the petroleum industry.
XXX University is reputed for its sphere in petroleum engineering, which ranks among the top universities in USA. The specialty has a very strong faculty and advanced research facilities which offers remarkable research - intensive programs. The USA occupies an absolutely leading position in the present-day world in education. It is my conviction that, in USA, advanced educational theories, technologies and information will facilitate me immensely in the achievement of remarkable academic progress, fulfilling my aspiration to become an accomplished international professional in the field of Petroleum Engineering. This will not only bring my Engineering fervour into reality but also make my life more meaningful and rewarding. I look forward to a gratifying association with XXX University.
