Please review the below essay and give me your feedback
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
All significant things around us are not necessarily visible to the naked eye like the air we breathe, the words we speak, the thoughts we process, the pain we experience and in this modern day even the signals around us through which we communicate have become equally significant for our day to day functioning. Anything and everything now can be converted into signals and the communication methods which can be used for them are innumerous. The dogmas which we previously had regarding this field is being redefined because of the day to day advancements being made in them. Graduate studies at your university would help me realize my dream of being a part of the technological revolution happening in the field of communications.
More than the toys from my childhood, I remember the circuit boards, the wires, the capacitors, the resistors, the soldering iron (which caused my first big injury) and other electrical items lying around me which my father, an ardent electronics hobbyist used frequently. The passion he had for electronics, which inspired me, was evident from the small scale manufacturing unit which he and his friends had started. They assembled parts to make Televisions and sold them to people in the nearby villages for a reduced price. Also the fact that my mother, a diligent employee in one of the India's biggest telecom providers, witnessed the telecommunication industry revolution encouraged me to grow up with an imbued penchant for electronics.
With this propensity towards electronics, I focused and excelled in the courses like physics and mathematics during my secondary education which I knew would be helpful once I step into the realm of electronics. Having realized that the quality education, which I dreamt of, could only be obtained by doing my undegraduation from a well reputed, internationally diversified university - I chose to join Manipal Institute of Technology even after being in the top 1% of my State Engineering Entrance Exam. I took up Electronics and Communication as my major without any hesitation and started understanding the different facets of electronics which was facilitated by the theoretical and practical knowledge provided by the department's highly qualified professors and its facilities.
During the second and third year of my undergraduate study, I was introduced to the world of analog and digital communication. Inspired by these lectures and intrigued by their practical use, I took up elective courses such as spread spectrum communication. During this course my interest in these fields soared and took me beyond the ambit of my curriculum to gain a deeper insight into these topics. With the knowledge I had and knowledge I had gained from the articles published through IEEE papers and monthly journals like "Electronics for You" on the future trends and innovations being achieved in the fields of communications, I presented a paper in an intra-college seminar on the Audio Spotlighting technology which was highly appreciated by my professors. A further opportunity as an intern at the Bharath Sanchar Nigam Limited (India's state-owned telecommunications company), gave me an understanding on the mobile communication process. Then, my final semester project laid the perfect platform from where I could take off. My professor, Dr. M. Sxxx Kxxxx, who was then researching on the subject of Orthogonal Frequency Division Multiplexing (OFDM) recognized my potential and asked me to work with him on his research. In this process, I had a cursory introduction to OFDM, the uses of it in Digital Audio Broadcasting, Wireless LAN, 4G LTE and the different techniques available to minimize the Peak to Average Power Ratio (PAPR) of the OFDM system that outweighs the benefits of a multi carrier transmission. The entire experience of systematic study and research instilled in me a desire to embrace research as a part of my career objective.
Accenture - one of the biggest multinational companies visited our campus and I was one among the few who got selected. Working here gave me an opportunity to learn something beyond books and comprehend the use of the communications on a larger scale. I was fortunate to work for one of the biggest American electronics retailer - Bxxxxxy, where I learned about the ETL processes (that extracts-transforms-loads data obtained from the registers into the database on the store servers and vice versa) that take place between the mobile registers (Point Of Sale), other wired registers and the store server. Fortunately it was during my tenure that the wireless registers were being tried out in their stores in Canada. During this time I got to learn a lot about the wireless communication taking place between the mobile registers and the store servers. All my efforts did not go unnoticed and I was rightly awarded a promotion with high accolades from my supervisors after completing a year in this project. My quest for knowledge and challenges encouraged me to move on to a project in the Communications, Media and Technology domain for another American client - Fxxx Pxxx Txxxxxs. Here I gained detailed knowledge on mobile communication, network switching, the call and the billing process for the customers. The will to learn and the ability to spend long hours of cerebration on trouble shooting for these projects have made me a dependable team player. Unlike the milieu of the college, the corporate environment was very different. The concept of learning on the job, accountability for the work at hand, conformance to in- housework flow standards gave me a greater focus and understanding. I knew that my work experience and the knowledge which I gained during the course of these 37 months in Accenture would become an asset for me when I get an opportunity to work in a research group or when I look towards a career in any sphere.
Having felt the need to learn more about communication theory, wireless communication, spread spectrum communication, coding and estimation theory being used, I recognized that it was important to specialize in order to succeed and achieve something revolutionary in this field. This hunger for knowledge has put me on a path to return to university. With the wide range of courses available in the area of communication systems and networks, the credentials and interests of the faculty like xxxxxxx and the infrastructure available for a comprehensive research in the form of Center for Research in Wireless Communication, Laboratory for Digital Communication, Laboratory for Spread Spectrum Communications made this university an automatic choice.
I realize the gravity of my selection and the diligence which I would need to meet the expectations of the faculty and that of the university. With the foundations that I built through my under graduation and the experience from my professional career, I strongly believe that I possess the technical knowledge, the discipline and the perseverance required for this course. If given an opportunity, the gamut of knowledge which I would gain under the guidance of your eminent faculty would be boundless. I am prepared to put in the concerted effort which would be required to achieve the goals I've set for the program. Hence I look forward to a possible association with your esteemed school in the near future.
The first sentence seems a little weird, I edited it for you here: "All significant things around us which are not necessarily visible to the naked eye like the air we breathe, the words we speak, the thoughts we process, the pain we experience and in this modern day even the signals around us through which we communicate have become equally significant for our day to day functioning." The main thing is that it seemed a little weird without the "which"
Anyways, I think your statement of purpose does a good job of detailing your passion for the field and how you got to where you are, and why you want to study at that university. I liked how you discussed specific research labs near the end of your paper, it shows that you have done your homework and that you are really interested in the university. May I ask what school you are applying to?
