Pentium IV PC, my uncle's gift; SOP; MS in S/w Engineering:

Hello members! I've posted my SOP..Pls evaluate and rectify any mistakes present in it.. Any help would be appreciated....
Thanks
Ganesh

It was in my school days I started to develop a strong desire for knowledge in Computer Science and at the same time my paternal uncle gifted me a for securing 84% in my 7th grade. Due to this my passion towards Computers grew deeper and stronger and developed more interest to know on its working. My parents made me to join for a Computer Course where in I learnt the programming languages(C, C++, Java) before joining the undergraduate school and it was this reason I was able to fulfill my dream in pursuing a Bachelor of Engineering Degree in Computer Science.

I attended Ideal Jawa Rotary School in Mysore, one of the finest educational Institutions of the city and completed my 7th degree securing 84%. Then I did my high school and Pre-University education in Marimallappa's Educational Institutions, which is also one of the premier educational Institutions, and secured 64% in my XII grade. During the gap of joining to a Bachelor Degree program, I completed a 6 month course on the programming languages called Diploma in Multilingual Computer Programming (DMCP); a central government recognized Certificate Program. I was admitted into Vidya Vardhaka College of Engineering with specialization in Computer Science, affiliated to Visvesvaraya Technological University, Belgaum- one of the highly reputed educational Institution in India, approved by the All India Council for Technical Education(AICTE) , Government of India.

In my first year of Bachelor degree, I was unable to clear few subjects (out of my specialization) due to bad health. Hence I had to discontinue from education for 6 months. During this period I joined for the coaching classes, cleared the subjects and got re-admitted to 2nd year in August 2008. It was at this stage I felt more interesting when I began with courses covering the concepts of C, Object Oriented Programming with C++, Data Structures, Analysis and Design of Algorithms, Operating Systems, System Software, Database Management Systems, Computer Networks-1, Computer Networks-2, Computer Graphics, Unix, Software Engineering, Operations Research, Formal Languages and Automata Theory, Compilers, Object Oriented Modeling and Design, Java, .Net and C#. Unfortunately I failed in Analysis and Design of Algorithms and C++ lab. Hence again I had to discontinue my education for 1 more year as it was against the University's curriculum policy. In my 5th semester, I secured a place in the top 10% of the total class strength in System Software subject and the Professor in charge of that subject lauded encouraging me to score well in the remaining semesters and not to worry about my 2 times discontinuation in the course. It was in the 6th semester I did more hard work and secured first-class marks. At the same time I successfully completed a Computer graphics project titled "Light Torus Animation" along with my team-mate. Finally in my 8th semester as a part of final degree completion I worked on a project titled "LOCATION BASED REMOTE CLIENT AUTHENTICATION PROTOCOL" based on Java and Android. During this our Head of the Department, ex-project manager in Intel Corporation(USA) became more interested and made us to represent our project in the Electricity Supply Board of Mysore, undertaking by the State Government of Karnataka. And in parallel I got a rare opportunity to present a technical paper(based on our project) in the International Conference on Current Trends in Engineering and Management(ICCTEM) held in our city, where in our paper was selected among 1500+ paper applicants, strongly reviewed by the committee consisting well-known technologists. At this point I would like to say that this project was the highlight of my academic career.

Apart from academics, I participated in extra-curricular activities both at school and bachelor degree level. I was involved in HELP-AGE INDIA, a social service committee setup in school to help the poor children and old-age people. I was also a team member of the band troop in high school. I'm a frequent trekker to chamundi hill situated in our Mysore city.

The United States of America is a land of opportunities and more than anything it's a place where in a student can gain in-depth knowledge in any field with hands-on experience; providing a good quality of education compared to other countries and thus making the individual to be successful in the corporate world. Especially in the field of Information Technology USA is the backbone for the new age technologies. I always wanted to pursue higher education in the US. On the account of excellent reputation of the University I would like to pursue my Master's degree in your esteemed Institution which will surely be an added value to my academic credentials.

In particular, University of XXXX is one of the country's foremost centers of learning and it provides rich offerings for its students with eminent faculty members, vast library, state of the art facilities and excellent infrastructure, it is definitely a center of excellence. The Master degree program in Software Engineering offered here appears very attractive to me and it will surely enhance my theoretical and practical knowledge. I am very much hopeful that such an environment will bring out the best in me and help me scale new heights. In future I myself would like to see working as a Team Lead/ Project Manager in one of the top IT companies. I am confident that I will achieve my career goals with distinction in your prestigious institution.

I, Ganesh Bahadur. J will assure you that you can find a hardworking, disciplined and a diligent student in me. I hope that my background and qualifications are found suitable to pursue MS in Software Engineering.

Ok just first off: You don't need to capitalize computer, science, or course.

Second, your first sentence makes no sense.

For the second sentence, the end needs to be rewritten to say something like "developed an interest in programming."

Don't put "my parents made me." Just say you joined it.

learned, not learnt

:D ... these days keep mods really busy with flooding of Common Apps :D
You write well.... However, I wish if you presented this with more emotions. The admission committee should remember you among other thousands of applications.


Why not say this with a better punch? Avoid too much details that admission guys are not interested such as "paternal";
I remember how delighted I was when my uncle gifted me a computer when I was in the seventh grade.

Thanks a lot dumi for giving me such a wonderful phrase...:)