Hi guys, I'm writing my personal statement, could someone check or helping to write it better? I know that is in very bad english because I have done a literal translate from italian..this is just a paragraph, thanks a lot!
A new test. A new challenge, and this time London is the background. The economic knowledge acquired during my undergraduate path could not find a better realisation than in a traineeship which surplus value lies in his fulfillment in a foreign country. The Studio Commercialisti London Ltd in which I'll work next months, is a firm that manage all the accounting, corporate tax and companies fulfillments for proper management of the companies.
I would switch background for backdrop
The third sentience makes no sense. Is this what you are trying to say? "Studying in a foreign country allowed me to develop my knowledge of economics in a unique way. The realizations I made during my time abroad allowed me to get a position at The Studio Commercialisti London Ltd, managing all accounting, corporate tax, and overseeing the management of the company".
thanks for the feedback, I complete my personal statement and I will be grateful if you can give me a feedback!
I'm unsure if the verbal tenses are used correctly. Thanks so much!
As an adolescent, I tried to commit myself to activities that would help to prosper my personal qualities. A rewarding period of personal growth for me was experienced at my local hospital, firstly as a Red Cross volunteer, then in the Misericordia association, both of which gave me exposure to the constant pressure of emergency situations, in which there is little tolerance for error or indecision. Giving assistance to immigrants, elderly people, alcoholics and drug addicts has provided me with an opportunity to see how I relate to people from all walks of life, leading me to become more patient and diplomatic.
Being accepted by a major university was a huge confidence booster for me, and I considered this as the beginning of a new period of achievement. At University of Rome Tor Vergata, which has been regularly ranked among the three top faculties of Economics in Italy and is well-known for its high quality of education, I had the privilege to interact with people from different cultural backgrounds through organising events and project work. This gave me an insight into how people work and it opened my mind to other perspectives.
I tried to broaden my knowledge by participating in several seminars. One of them that I found particularly rewarding was the XIX International Tor Vergata Conference on Money, Banking and Finance: the new frontiers of banking and finance after the global crisis (Rome, 10/12/2010) - Not only did this give me an insight into the level of understanding required when dealing with accounting, but also deepened my interest and desire to make it my career path.
I have a deep interest in the relationship between countries and how they interact for finance and business purposes. With the situation in the global market becoming more complicated and volatile, it has become increasingly important to make informed decisions to minimise risks. I am graduating in the middle of the biggest financial meltdown and it is difficult to find a promising job when thousands are losing theirs each day. Thus, I was glad when I had been shortlisted for the Erasmus Placement program.
A new, outstanding challenge in the exciting London. The knowledge that I acquired through my economic studies during three years of courses at university will be better improved and developed in a traineeship abroad. For this reason, I am going to work as a trainee in Studio Commercialisti Londra Ltd for four months: it is a company which basically deals with bookkeeping, an activity that I really would like to master.
Fulfilling oneself professionally in a foreign context, means first of all winning a personal challenge. I think that the Erasmus Placement is the first, significant step to start my career, because it permits to apply theory in a real working environment and to deal with duties and responsibilities. I strongly believe that taking part in an intercultural context, sharing personal experiences, and cooperating in group projects, will certainly enrich my personality and my skills.
The Name of the University, staffed with world-reputable professors and lecturers, allows me to pursue my striving for postgraduate studies. Branded as an outstanding hub for attracting international talents with various cultural backgrounds, the Name of the University could help to foster mutual learning and inspiration. Moreover, what really fascinates me is the diverse coverage of the list of modules offered. These designated modules, including SUBJECT1, SUBJECT2, SUBJECT3, are tailored for me to acquire a more comprehensive studying and analysis on practical financial and commercial topics.
My vivid eagerness has led me to apply for this Msc program at the Name of the University. I would be very grateful if you would consider my sincere application and be deeply honored to become part of the family of the Name of the University.
