Hi Nancy, welcome to our community! :-)
Ana, thanks for all the great help you have been giving people. I'm going to go look at your essay right now, hero!
The first paragraph should be the summary of your actual essay.
I would say this differently. The first paragraph expresses the BIG IDEA of the essay. A summary is a little different. The first paragraph does not need to summarize, but it should plant that idea you want the reader to remember.
I don't know if PROVOKED is the right word there... google the definition, and see if it is really the word you want to use...
"Knowledge is often provoked through unexpected circumstances. When my mother had a stroke the hospital assigned a "Speech Pathologist" to help her re-structure her vocabulary and language skills.----Oh, I see! Okay, maybe you can use provoked this way:
The pursuit of knowledge is often provoked during unexpected...
You write very well! I'm going to kill a boring sentence, though:
The things I have learned as a student in school and outside of school has prepared me to flourish at "SCHOOL NAME". There, it's dead. I had to kill it because it was vague and ... just a claim. "Show, don't tell." And don't use the word "thing." Choose a more specific word. :-) can you make this sentence more meaningful!?
You did a great job. This will probably be successful. To make it even better, tell a little more about your specific goals and plan for the next few years. Tell what is unique about your plan -- because someone with a unique plan is inspirational.