I need help. I'm writing this and know that I don't think this is flowing the way it needs to. I don't find myself "selling" myself enough. Any suggestions?
My objective to pursue doctorial studies is to contribute to the ongoing research in management with focus on strategy, innovation and marketing; including its relevance to the academic, corporate and student community. In this current economic climate, more than ever, corporations will need managers that are more than just leaders. They will need managers that are innovative, creative and an agent for change due to the new paradigm shift in the way business needs to be done. This challenge can be boldly faced by the theories and practicality of management research. I am an agent for change. I want to help facilitate and shape the paradigm of the new normal.
My interest in research piqued during my studies for my MBA degree. I had recently completed my graduate research class, in which I had done exceptionally well. Based on my performance in the research class, my professor agreed to supervise me in an Independent study project. It was a very demanding project in which I had to be basically self-directed and self-motivated; I exhibited these attributes which are essential for doctoral study. I was responsible for conducting primary and secondary necessary research, and then integrating my findings into the development of a viable business plan. During this time, we were still in the dark ages with respect to Internet research. My independent study project during that time honed my motivation, creativity, maturity and analytical skills. I worked very hard on the project, which was designed to test my research skills and my ability to apply my business education to develop an entrepreneurial business plan.
Ever since I was young, I always had a desire for learning and exploring. Some would say a burning curiosity of what else is there or what else could there be. In the summer, during my childhood, I spent many hours at the library reading age and non-age specific books to fuel this thirst within me. I parlayed this passion into a career in book publishing where I had influenced the way books were acquired and the way books were purchased. Now, my former industry is going through a digital revolution and I see myself pursuant of a PhD as a new career allowing me to be 100% committed to research and bring my passion for learning and exploring to the discipline.
My research interest centers on creating a new business model for companies who are still operating with an antiquated business model. I am most interested management strategy, innovation and technology. The need to provide theory and practice becomes prevalent every day as companies look to revise their business model, increase their EBIDTA, and boost shareholders value. I have read some of Professor O'Connor's research regarding innovation breakthrough. Her research prose and interest aligns with how I would like to contribute to the conversations in the management community of my peers, academia, senior level executives, corporations and students.
I will approach the PhD degree curriculum like a full-time job. I have the tenacity, energy and desire to get on research projects early and become indispensible in the department. I am a disciplined and results oriented individual who likes to stay on task, focused and have a get-the-job-done attitude. I approach every project with great enthusiasm and look at taking on challenging projects as opportunities to learn new ideas and technologies that would assist me to become more effective at research and teaching. I am detail oriented, which has helped me become a strong manager, leader and a go-to person when goals and objectives need to be met.
I have carefully researched the Lally PhD program and I am certain the program will add discipline, time-management and knowledge to aid in my development to become a great researcher and teacher. After the completion of the PhD program, I would like to teach at a research university and aid in actively contributing scholarly research to the management discipline.
Michelle Patterson
HI Michelle,
I would switch some things around - for instance, you talk about how when you were young you were interested in research after you talk about your MBA. I would switch this around to be a little more chronological. I would also move your objective statement until after you talk about why you want to research. (So it would flow more like this is where I was, this is where I am and this is where I want to go). You kind of jump all around chronologically, and I think this is where some of your flow problems are coming from. If you don't want to do this chronologically, you should focus on topics then and make sure you lead one paragraph into the last (ask yourself how does my last paragraph support my next and vice versa).
One of the professors I talked to for my own program said I should mention professors I was interested in working with by looking at what kind of research they are doing and how we align.
I think you do an excellent job of boosting yourself and talking about your skills and selling yourself. You maybe want to talk a little more what you want to research, or reorganize your paragraphs so all your comments about research are in one section (you mention why you what you want to research in paragraph 1, but don't talk about it again until paragraph 3).
I hope that helps. If you have a chance, please take a look at my statement of purpose and provide some feedback.
