I graduated in 2007; Msc petroleum engineering

please review and help me to correct the mistakes...

My name is YASIR ABD HADI. I was Born in 1984 in Iraq\Slah Al Deen. I am married and have three child. I finished high school in 2003 with the average mark Obtained 91.857%. In 2007 I have been awarded the degree of B.Sc. in Petroleum Engineering from Engineering College University of Baghdad with average mark obtained 72.601 %, The rank 22 out of 103.

I got a scholarship to study Masters in Petroleum Engineering by the Higher Committee For Education Development in Iraq (HCED).Due to the developments of modern technology and progress in all areas of life, I want to continue my studies to get a master's degree. I have chosen to study in the United States, because their education systems one of the best lush systems in the world which enables the student to gain experience and work with the best minds in the field of research subjects , where famous universities in the United States of America published a tremendous amount of research each year. As U.S.A universities are characterized by a good reputation and international fame and wide and are considered as the standard for quality and academic excellence and USA the first country in petroleum industry and have many advanced school sin this area .

I hope to communicate between my job in North Oil Company and my academic study in master .Statement of Purpose After my graduation I have worked a Petroleum Engineer until now in the North Oil Company \ Ministry of Oilin Iraq .My hope is that your consideration of my file will render a favorable decision. I am confident a decision like that will definitely change my life and put me on the verge of a bright future of which I hope your school will be the main thrust.

Hi Yasir,


... sure, but need to have a look at your prompt... what's the purpose of this writing?

Hi Dumi ,

i am applying for USA Universities to pursue master degree in petroleum engineering & i have Bsc in petroleum engineering..

Thank You ...

Is this your Statement of Purpose? or Letter of Motivation?

Hi dumi,

Its Statement of Purpose.

thank you... hope further correction from Admins.

Ohhhhh... sorry I wan't there when you came online... Never mind, let's get on the job :)
If it is your SOP, I feel you better change its style a little bit.
They, admission guys, already know your personal details. So there's no point in telling them those details. What you need to tell them in the SOP is that why you got interested in Engineering. Then how your passion developed into a particular field of engineering (Petroleum). Tell them your background in the field; specific classes, your credentials and experience. Also talk about your extra curricular activities.

I guess you redo this and post here.... I'll keep a track on your essay and help improve it :)

I have already been awarded a scholarship to pursue a Masters degree in Petroleum Engineering by the Higher Committee for Education Development in Iraq (HCED). My preferred destination obviously is the United States which provides the best opportunities to learn developments of modern technology together with a great learning experience and research facilities.


... I suggest you to replace this line with;
I view this US experience is something that is not confined to providing me with a great learning experience and wider knowledge in my field. It would also generate great networking opportunities for me and provide me with insights to broaden my perspectives that would benefit me both personally and professionally.


This needs improvement... but I prefer if you give a bit more details for me about your experience so that I can re-draft it :)

ok dumi here is some details...

I have been working in north oil company \field division\ petroleum engineering department since Mars 2008 .My main responsibilities are well logging, formation evaluation & field measurements.

I don't understand why you included this line here.... I think you need not talk about these arrangements in your SOP. Let's talk about your experiences;



After my graduation I joined North Oil Company as a Petroleum Engineer in 2008 and still work for the same company. My main responsibilities include well logging, formation evaluation and taking field measurements. Although I enjoy my job, I now feel the need for advancing my knowledge in the field that would help me better my career prospects as well as better serve my country's economic backbone.

.... at this point,it is better if you can tell what you aim to achieve with these studies; I mean your short term and long term goals. Then how you are going to contribute back to your country and people.... After that you can conclude the SOP with your last line :)