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What are the good things and bad things about the place you live in? (Toefl)


saurabhjain162 2 / 4  
Sep 9, 2009   #1
Q) Following is the Tofel Topic and I completed it in 30 Minutes .Please suggest How I can improve this within given time ?And if possible please also let me know how much score can I get with this essay

Topic :What are the good things and bad things about the place you live in? (Tofel Topic)

Every body wants to live in a place which is neat and clean,green and occupied by nice and gentle people . I am fortunate enough to get such place which is in outskirt of Delhi, capital of India . Good things I noticed in my place are it has all basic facilities like Good hospitals, police station ,fire station within 2 km radius of my home , it has Green parks after every 100m .Some bad things which I noticed in my place are poor transport facility ,bad water and electricity supply .

First I like to share pleasing things which I found around my home . There is greenary all around ,we have number of beautiful gardens after every 100 m , It is very neat and clean place well managed by Ansals authority , It is very near to international airport which is just 10 km from my home , It has all basic facilities like good schools ,colleges ,hospitals , police station ,fire station ,shopping malls .Moreover people staying here are very cultured and cooperative . Above qualities really make me feel highly graced that I have home in such a beautiful place like in childhood ,I had my many parks to play in ,I had best schools of city within 1 km from my home . In addition to this I got admission in an engineering college which is just 2 km from my home and have rank third in country which had given me chance to get state of art education while staying at my home . After this I got selected in company which is just 5 km from my home .So because of all this facilities my life passed very comfortably

In addition to above positive features there are also some negative features like shortage of electricity ,water and public transport . In our area there is electric cut for around six hours everyday .Water supply is also unhygienic and not sufficient which have made our life terrible to live .Moreover public transport facility is also unsatisfactory due which we cut down from main city like Delhi .It take us around two hours to reach Delhi Railway

station due bad facility which would have taken half an hour if we have sufficient transport facility .

In light of above points I can conclude that the place where I live have both good and bad points like two sides of coin.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Sep 9, 2009   #2
This essay lacks a conclusion. Even if it's only a couple of sentences, be sure to include a summarizing conclusion in a TOEFL essay.

You are punctuating strangely. Please use these corrections as a guide for correcting all of your punctuation:

There is greene ry all around; we have a number of beautiful gardens after every 100 m. It is a very neat and clean place that is well managed by Ansals authority. It is very near to the international airport, which is just 10 km from my home. It has all basic facilities like good schools, colleges, hospitals, police station, fire station, and shopping malls. Moreover, people staying here are very cultured and cooperative .


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