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IELTS-Children should be taught competitive or cooperative.


fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 5, 2010   #1
Thanks for your editing and correcting!
here comes the topic.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete more useful adults.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


In present age, the society has become much more competitive than ever; therefore, should we foster the children to be cooperative or competitive causes a hot debate in my country. I will compare both sides of the debate in this essay.

Many people embrace the view that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete, it is partly because a sense of development leads to efficiency in a team or group, all in all, development is the mainstream of this world, while it is principally because this kind of education will mostly ensure the next generation to grow up in a peaceful way. Moreover, a research released by Chinese Organisation of Children Caring recently pointed out that more than 1,300 kids die from severe competing and fighting every year in this country and more wounded.

Even so, a great amount of people stand at another side, they believe that the competition among children can accelerate the advance of the cubs physically and mentally which turns out to make them healthier. View in this angle, it seems to be true. But take science research as example, all members in a workgroup shall conduct their research cooperatively so that they may success finally; otherwise, no progress will be made.

As far as I can concern, I do prefer the former view that children should be educated cooperative which is accorded with our traditional culture. Indeed, I think, a cooperative-educated new generation shall coincide with the wellbeing and prosperity of our society.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 7, 2010   #2
Hello Fordragon, if you have time, try typing the essay with the corrections, and we will see if we can make it perfect.

In the present age, society has become much more competitive than ever...--- good

Many people embrace the view that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete, and it is partly because...

Moreover, a research study conducted by ...

Even so, a great amount of people take a difference stance. They believe that...--- this is a way to say they "support another view."

...can accelerate the advancement of the ...

cubs young generation, physically and mentally, which turns out to make them healthier.

Viewing thw question from this angle, it seems to be true.

A common expression is "As far as I am concerned..."
As far as I am concerned, I do ...

So... please apply some corrections and try again! Do you have questions?
OP fordragon 5 / 16  
Sep 14, 2010   #3
Hello Kevin.

Thanks for your corrections. They are really helpful for my preparation of the test.

I have done what you told me, it feels great`

I think I will try again for the sake of my writing skills!


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