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Candid Appraisal of Self, Strength/Weaknesses- Health Admin. MBA


SLOOTR 5 / 12 2  
Mar 2, 2013   #1
Good afternoon! I am in the process of completing my essays for the Health Admin. MBA program.

Does the following answer the question the school is asking? Does the statement flow? I am having some difficulty expanding on my weakness, which is expressed in the last sentence of this post.

Your professional feedback is much appreciated. Thank you in advance for your time.


Give a candid appraisal of yourself. Include some discussion of your strengths and weaknesses. Please keep your response to approximately 200 words.

We all have a purpose. Mine is to think outside the box, search for the hidden connections, and create global ties. As a child, my world was relatively small, yet my idea of the world was vast. Television and tourism commercials were the source of my curiosities, while writing to "pen pals" in distant lands were my realities. Consistently, I daydreamed about people and their worlds, and always, I yearned to help those less fortunate. My mom always told me, I "couldn't save the world." What she didn't realize was, in that one statement, she fed an already rooted seed from which my passion for humanitarian interest now exists and grows.

Domestic and international health and humanitarian work and volunteerism are embedded in my spirit. By nature, I want to benefit humankind and the environment. I am a person not of ego or eccentricities and I harbor very few illusions about who I really am. My greatest strength is my work ethic. It is as much a matter of conscience as it is a matter of completing tasks.

I am looking up from the bottom of a new ladder of success and with that comes a new and somewhat unfamiliar sense of anxiety.
ash123 2 / 3  
Mar 2, 2013   #2
I thought the flow was very good, I actually noticed myself reading it in almost a poem form everything seemed to fit together so well. Unfortunately I'm not sure I can offer much advise considering I'm just taking my first college english class after being out of the school loop for seven years. I do think it will flow a little better without the comma between curiousities and while, but that's just my opinion. Good luck and thank you so much for your help on my thesis!
OP SLOOTR 5 / 12 2  
Mar 6, 2013   #3
I appreciate your edits and corrections.

I did a free-write for 10 minutes and was able to get some thoughts on my weaknesses organized.


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