My dream university - admission appeal

Hi. I recently got rejected from my dream University and I wanted to appeal their decision. Could you please help me with this. I think the basis of their decision was a dip in my grades. I have extremely good SAT scores and high school GPA. My college GPA did suffer but now I have extremely good grades. How do I go about writing this? Thank you in advance for your help.

Good afternoon.

I would start off your appeal by thanking them for taking time to reexamine their decision. I would then take the opportunity of their attention to explain that your high school and SAT scores were good. I would then explain exactly what it was that caused the dip in your college GPA, and then explain how you were able to rectify this and ensure that your grades will not suffer because of it again. For example, if your grades dropped because of bad study habits, you could explain what you did to correct that and then go on to tell them that you now know what to do so that it won't happen again; i.e. I got organized and improved my time management skills so that when I'm in a time crunch again, my grades will not suffer because I know how to get through it. You could then go on to tell them how your grades have improved since, and let them again know why it is you want to work hard and attend their university. If what you think the problem was is the problem, once they see that you know how to correct it, you should get better results.
Once you get a rough draft, you can post it here and then I can help you polish it.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

To Whom It May Concern:

REMOVED

Thank you so much for your help Gloria! Do you think I have made a convincing argument? Also, I would like them to know that I have more grades, which will be available after July 25th, which will work in my favor. Unfortunately I have a feeling if I let them know that they will ask me to defer my admission to the next term which I do not want to do. Should I include that as well?

Good morning :)

OK, let's take a look:

"To Whom It May Concern:

First, I wish to thank you for taking the time to reexamine your decision. I recently applied for admission to UC as a transfer student. My intended major is Environmental Science. Sadly, I received a notification declining my admission to the school.

As soon as I learned about this I got in touch with an International Admission counselor with regards to my application, whose warm and friendly advice made all the difference. I was informed that there is a minimum GPA required by all transfer students to attend your prestigious university, and at the time my GPA was not within that range. With this, I would like to draw your attention to my good SAT score and high school grades which seem to be off mark from my college GPR. As an international student, I had a difficult time adjusting to what, specifically? and thus I let my GPR suffer. I focused much of my time on adjusting rather than my GPR, which at that time I felt the former was more important.

I have accepted my mistakes and have tried my best to improve. I got organized and improved my time management skills so that when I'm in that situation again, my grades will not suffer because I know how to get through it. How did you achieve this? I have struck a balance between my academics and extra-curricular activities. This has not only helped my GPA improve but also has made me feel more involved in overall college life. Since then, my grades have improved tremendously and I am confident they will continue to do so.

As an indication of my readiness for academic success I have included class grades from which classes? Why are they important?, references from teachers, and my resume, of whom you may not have had previous access to.

To conclude, I have a very keen interest in experiencing life at this university. That is why I want to continue to work hard and attend your university. I would like nothing better than to seize the opportunity to contribute positively towards campus life in various ways, and take advantage of the wealth that a UC education has to offer.

Thank you very much for your time. I look forward to your judgment on my application."

I would include that the grades you will have in July; at least then they have a complete picture and know that more are on the way. If they decide that you can enroll, but at a later date, at least it is acceptance.
I believe that if you expand more on the areas I've directed your attention to, your argument will be strong; as long as you have told them the whole and complete truth, then you know you have done all that you can, and if it still does not work out, perhaps it will be for the better.
Keep me posted!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Hi! Do you think this final draft is good? Thank you again!

To Whom It May Concern:

First, I wish to thank you for taking the time to reexamine your decision. I recently applied for admission to UC as a transfer student. My intended major is Environmental Science. Sadly, I received a notification declining my admission to the school.

As soon as I learned about this I got in touch with an International Admission counselor with regards to my application, whose warm and friendly advice made all the difference. I was informed that there is a minimum GPA required by all transfer students to attend your prestigious university, and at the time my GPA was not within that range. With this, I would like to draw your attention to my good SAT score and high school grades which seem to be off mark from my college GPR. As an international student, I had a difficult time adjusting to life in college; I was new to this learning and living environment and thus I let my GPR suffer; I joined too many organizations in hope of conforming to my new life and as a result I focused much of my time on adjusting rather than my GPR, which at that time I felt the former was more important.

I have accepted my mistakes and have tried my best to improve. I got organized and improved my time management skills so that when I'm in that situation again, my grades will not suffer because I know how to get through it. I have joined only those organizations that I am passionate about. I have struck a balance between my academics and extra-curricular activities. The most important thing I have learnt is to ask for help when I need it. This has not only helped my GPA improve but also has made me feel more involved in overall college life. Since then, my grades have improved tremendously and I am confident they will continue to do so.

As an indication of my readiness for academic success I have included class grades from math classes I took during the winter-mester. My grades from the summer term will be available by August. I feel that this will increase my GPR considerably. I have also included references from teachers, and my resume, of whom you may not have had previous access to.

To conclude, I have a very keen interest in experiencing life at this university. That is why I want to continue to work hard and attend your university. I would like nothing better than to seize the opportunity to contribute positively towards campus life in various ways, and take advantage of the wealth that a UC education has to offer.

Thank you very much for your time. I look forward to your judgment on my application.

Good morning!

OK, let's see:

"To Whom It May Concern:

First, I wish to thank you for taking the time to reexamine your decision. I recently applied for admission to UC as a transfer student. My intended major is Environmental Science. Sadly, I received a notification declining my admission to the school.

As soon as I learned about this I got in touch with an International Admission counselor with regards to my application, whose warm and friendly advice made all the difference. I was informed that there is a minimum GPA required by all transfer students to attend your prestigious university, and at the time my GPA was not within that range. With this, I would like to draw your attention to my good SAT score and high school grades which seem to be off mark from my college GPR. As an international student, I had a difficult time adjusting to life in college; I was new to this learning and living environment and thus I let my GPR suffer; I joined too many organizations in hope of conforming to my new life and as a result I focused much of my time on adjusting rather than my GPR, which at that time I felt the former was more important.

I have accepted my mistakes and have tried my best to improve. I got organized and improved my time management skills so that when I'm in that situation again, my grades will not suffer because I know how to get through it. I have joined only those organizations that I am passionate about. I have struck a balance between my academics and extra-curricular activities. The most important thing I have learned is to ask for help when I need it. This has not only helped my GPA improve but also has made me feel more involved in overall college life. Since then, my grades have improved tremendously and I am confident they will continue to do so.

As an indication of my readiness for academic success I have included class grades from math classes I took during the winter semester. My grades from the summer term will be available by August. I feel that this will increase my GPR considerably. I have also included references from teachers as well as my resume, of which you may not have had previous access to.

To conclude, I have a very keen interest in experiencing life at this university. That is why I want to continue to work hard and attend your university. I would like nothing better than to seize the opportunity to contribute positively towards campus life in various ways, and take advantage of the wealth that a UC education has to offer.

Thank you very much for your time. I look forward to your judgment on my application."

Excellent work! You have done a fine, organized job of explaining the situation here, which is exactly what they will be looking for. I wish you the best of luck; let me know what they say!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com