San Diego with a another city - COMPARE AND CONTRAST ESSAY.

TOPIC & INSTRUCTIONS:
Comparison and Contrast
(FIVE PARAGRAPH ESSAY)
Write an essay in which you compare and contrast San Diego with a city that you have lived in before. Your purpose is to convince tourists to visit either one or both of these sites. Footnotes and a bibliography is not neccessary.

PLEASE PROOF READ MY ESSAY AND MAKE SURE THAT I HAVE A CLEAR THESIS AND PROPER CONCLUSION. THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Compare and Contrast San Diego with a City That You Have Lived In Before

Can two cities, located within the same region of California share similar qualities, yet have distinct differences? I have lived in San Diego for the last five years and I have also resided in Los Angeles for 10 years. As a result of living in both cities, I have found many similarities and differences between these two sister cities. Three major similarities and differences can be found within the environments, lifestyles and the job markets of both major metropolitan cities. These cities are both known worldwide and have mass appeal. If one is faced with an option of moving to either city, it can prove to be a hard decision to make.

Los Angeles and San Diego have similar environments. Both are large cities, with a large population. Cities with a large population tend to be overcrowded, have a higher rate of automobile traffic, high crime rate and a competitive real estate market. These are qualities Los Angeles and San Diego share. Although San Diego does not have as great of a problem with traffic and statistically has a lower crime rate than Los Angeles, both cities, nonetheless have a presence of these negative issues. San Diego may have a large population, as does Los Angeles, but it does have a small city feel to it. Los Angeles is a more of an aggressive city where the people are oblivious to others around them. San Diego is more laid back and because of this, the people seem to be more polite and acknowledge others around them. For example, I find that the locals of San Diego are more likely to say hello to a stranger than in Los Angeles where a local is more apt to ignore someone and not even make any eye contact.

The lifestyles of Los Angeles and San Diego both have the infamous Southern California feel. Both cities take pride of the almost year round sunny weather and its large athletic healthy community. With the sunny weather comes a huge beach culture that both cities share. I find that San Diego has a large surfer community. Los Angeles has a large array of beach activities, but it seems San Diego has a more serious surfer following and less beach activity options. Also, both cities are known for having a large extreme health conscious following. Each urban community is thought to exercise heavily and to consume salads for every meal; an over dramatization of the facts, but still what each city is known for healthy eating habits. I find that Los Angeles is more extreme in its health conscious community; almost cult like in a way. San Diego, as mentioned, is more laid back and is not as fanatical about exercising and embracing every new diet that comes along, as Los Angeles does.

San Diego and Los Angeles, because they are major urban metropolises, possess a huge job market. Both cities offer blue collar and white collar industries that, prior to our nationwide economic downslide, was a job seekers dream. People flocked to both cities to find better job opportunities. The major difference between both cities, in regards to the job market, which I have witnessed and heard complaints about, is the pay rate. Although the cost of living of Los Angeles and San Diego are comparable, San Diego does not compare to the benefit packages that a lot of the major companies in Los Angeles offer. There is a general consensus that San Diego has not quite caught up with Los Angeles and there is a $2-$5 per hour range or $3,840-$9,600 annual range deficit between both cities. This issue plays a major decision in a lot of cases in which families are faced with the decision of living in Los Angeles or San Diego.

Although there are only separated by approximately 130 miles, the city of Los Angeles and San Diego have very distinct differences and close similarities. The similarities between both cities make them great vacation hotspots and destinations where people aspire to live and work. I myself feel that San Diego has a greater appeal. I like the relaxed atmosphere and the big city, small city feel to it. Even though Los Angeles may have a greater point of interest index and is known more worldwide than San Diego and has higher rate of pay, the hustle and bustle and aggressiveness of the city outweighs its positive attributes. If a friend or family member was faced with the decision of moving to Los Angeles or San Diego, I would recommend San Diego whole heartedly. They don't call it American's Finest City for nothing!

I am not a profesional writer, but I will try and help as much as a can.


You do not need a comma after cities.


I would reword this somehow. Firstly, I do not think you need to say "automobile traffic." It just seems to me that you are talking about a city and most people will know what kind of traffic you are refering to. Also, "higher rate" does not sound right in this sentence either. Maybe you could say "higher rate of automible accidents" or "a higher volume of traffic."


You need a comma after Although. I would also do a little rewording to this sentence. It is a little long and choppy. Maybe you could say, "San Diego has fewer problems with traffic and crime than Las Angeles, but both cities have a significant pressence of these negative issues.


This is another long and hard to follow sentence. The end of the sentence sounds repeptitive. Avoiding eye contact and ignoring someone are virtually the same. I would reword it like this: "For example, the locals of San Diego are more likely to be friendly to a stranger, whereas, the locals of Los Angeles are more apt to ignore a stranger.


"Although they..."


Very chopy and hard to follow sentence. It feels like you are saying "and" way to many times. I would also reword this one as well.


This is probably being a little to picky, but I would say "do not" instead of "don't" in an essay.

It looks like you are off to a great start. I think you will have a great paper if you do a little touching up. Hopefully, some of this advice will help you out.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!! YOU HELPED ME A LOT.