Greetings!
Ferrets are a lot of fun, aren't they? :-) But you know, I wonder if Taco had some kind of bladder control problem--my ferrets never did that to me! :-)) Here are some editing suggestions for you:
I had him for about three months, at which point, I had to get rid of him due to his bad behavior. - Up to this point, you have been speaking very fondly of your ferret, making it sound as if, no matter what he did, it was perfectly all right with you. Then, suddenly, you make an about-face and say you had to "get rid of" him. This is too abrupt. It would be better if you expressed some sadness and regret (I'm sure you felt some--you just need to convey that). You could say "For three months, he brought joy into my life; then, sadly, his antics became more than my dad could take, and Taco had to go live with a family who was better equipped to deal with him." You don't have to write it like that, but I think you can see that the tone need to match the affection you had been expressing in the previous sentences.
It wasn't until he did it about five more
times that it really got to me.
chew through my
TV's power cord,
It was as if he intentionally brought me it.- Better would be "It was as if he brought them to me as peace offerings."
He would take it and hide it, unless he saw that I noticed him
taking it, and then he would run like a mad
man because he knew I was going to take it from him.
In time, my father told me
It might be a good idea to explain a little more about why your father said you had to get rid of Taco. Did he bite? Did he leave little "gifts" in every corner of the house? Hide one too many chicken bones in the couch? :-) It would be nice to have a clearer picture of the reason, and its effect on you.
Good work!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Sarah, EssayForum.com
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