Health promotion regarding teen pregnancies - my introduction-Does it Flow?

Hi was wondering if my introduction to my essay sounded ok; it sounds really choppy to me, so im just trying to get feedback. Any and all suggestions are welcome, Thanks.

What my essay is about: health promotion regarding teen pregnancies (i.e how to prevent it)

Introduction:
Reducing adolescent conception rates and preventing unwanted pregnancies across the adolescent population is a key public health issue. Adolescent pregnancy is common particularly within adolescents between the ages of sixteen and nineteen; in addition there are many associated psychological, social and physical risk factors to being pregnant as a teen not only to the mother but also to the baby. Adolescent pregnancy is highly preventable especially because several factors have been identified that correlate with an increased risk of becoming a teen mother as well as factors that decrease the risk. Several health promotion strategies to prevent adolescent pregnancy include community programs to improve social development, responsible sexual behavior education, and improved contraceptive counseling plus delivery. These strategies should be implemented at the family and community level well before adolescents become sexually active and carry on throughout the adolescent years. Teaching and learning strategies should be directed specifically toward the adolescent population at risk.

Greetings!

I think your introduction is very good! To me, it does not sound choppy at all. It could use a few commas, however:

Reducing adolescent conception rates and preventing unwanted pregnancies across the adolescent population is a key public health issue. Adolescent pregnancy is common, particularly among adolescents between the ages of sixteen and nineteen; in addition, there are many associated psychological, social and physical risk factors to being pregnant as a teen, not only to the mother but also to the baby. Adolescent pregnancy is highly preventable, especially because several factors have been identified that correlate with an increased risk of becoming a teen mother, as well as factors that decrease the risk. Several health promotion strategies to prevent adolescent pregnancy include community programs to improve social development, responsible sexual behavior education, and improved contraceptive counseling, plus delivery. [I did not understand what you meant by "plus delivery."]

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

thanks for the suggestions, my grammer is horrible!!

also what i was trying to say with "plus delivery" is provide contraceptive counselling as well as provide the contraceptives (delivery). hope that made sense. anyways thanks for your help.

Attached on merging:
health promotion regarding adolescent pregnancies-how does it sound so far?

so i've started writing my essay, how does it sound so far. Im particulary concerned about the second to last paragraph (i dont like my wording) and im also concerned if my essay is flowing nicely from paragraph to paragraph.

In the United States, nearly 900 000 conceptions occur in adolescents per year. More than 4 in 10 adolescent girls have been pregnant at least once before twenty years of age. About 51% of adolescent pregnancies end in live birth, 35% end in induced abortion and the other 14% result in miscarriage. Once an adolescent has had an infant, she is at an increased risk of having another. 25% of adolescent births are not the first birth. Even more concerning is that 90% of fifteen to nineteen year olds describe their pregnancies as being unintended. Currently 45% of high school females and 48% of high school males have had sexual intercourse. Approximately, one fourth of all youth report having had intercourse by fifteen years of age. 11% of high school females and 17% of high school males report having had four or more sexual partners. Research also shows that contraceptive use plays a role in adolescent pregnancies. Despite increasing use of contraception by adolescents at the time of first intercourse, 50% of adolescent pregnancies occur within the first six months of initial sexual intercourse. 39% of females in grade nine and 54% in grade eleven report using oral contraceptive at last intercourse. 15% and 17% respectively report using no contraceptive or the with-drawl method. However, many of the adolescents who report using prescription contraceptives delayed seeing a clinician for a prescription until they had been sexually active for one year or more. Adolescent pregnancy is a key health concern not only because the numbers are so high but because there are many risks involved when adolescents become parents.
Adolescent pregnancy continues to be an area of concern because maternal and fetal risks are the highest. Incidences of having a low birth weight infant among adolescents is more than double the rate for adults. Neonatal death rate is almost three times higher for adolescents than for adults. Mortality rate for the mother, although low is twice that for adult pregnant women. Adolescent pregnancy has also been linked to poor maternal weight gain, premature birth, pregnancy induced hypertension, anemia and STD's. Higher incidences of medical complications are not the only risks associated with adolescent pregnancy, there are also many psychosocial problems for both mother and child.
The psychosocial problems of adolescent pregnancy include school interruption, persistent poverty, limited vocational opportunities, separation from child's father, and repeat pregnancy. These factors are not independent of each other; they are all interconnected and influence one another. Adolescent parents tend to miss out on education, therefore, have limited job opportunities which lead to substantially lower incomes. They are more likely to suffer from relationship breakdowns and persistent poverty. As a result, children of adolescent parents have an increased risk of developmental delay, academic difficulties, behavioral disorders, substance abuse, early sexual activity, depression and becoming adolescent parents themselves. Adolescent pregnancy has several risk behaviors and factors associated with it that can be predictors of increased risk. Many of the behaviors are preventable, therefore recognizing and understanding them is important.
There are several factors that have been identified as predictors of adolescent pregnancy. The risk of becoming an adolescent parent is almost ten times higher in poor income households. Children of adolescent parents are one third more likely to become parenting adolescents themselves. Low education achievements, not being in school, training or work all increase the chances of becoming pregnant during adolescence. In some studies there has been a link between mental health problems and increased likelihood of adolescent pregnancy, as well as, 50%-60% of those who became pregnant during adolescence has a history of sexual or physical abuse. Many adolescent although have the capability to think as well as an adult, they do not have the experiences on which to build. Adolescents are generally incapable of making decisions based on a reasoned understanding of the future consequences of their actions. Adolescents often do not connect the actual act of intercourse with the real possibility of having a baby nine months later. This inability to perceive future consequences of current behavior is called cognitive immaturity. Another part of growing up mentally, adolescents experience what is called the personal fable. This line of thinking makes the adolescent believe they are unique, giving rise to risky behaviors, thinking that bad consequences won't happen to them. These factors lead adolescents to be at a much higher risk for the onset of sexual activity with all of its consequences.
There are several factors that correlate with the decreased risk of becoming an adolescent parent. Children who are raised by both parents have a decreased risk of becoming sexually active. Adolescents who regularly attend their places of worship delay the onset of sexual activity. Adolescents whose parents discuss sex with them are likely to delay the onset of sexual activity, as are adolescents who expect to get a post secondary education. An additional factor that helps protect adolescents is closeness or connectedness to their parents. Adolescents who relate well to their parents tend to delay the onset of sexual activity, and when they do become sexually active, they make better choices about contraception.

Greetings!

I think it's coming along very well so far! Here are some editing tips:

If you start a sentence with a number, you must write it out: Twenty-five percent

Approximately [delete ,] one-fourth of all youth report having had intercourse by fifteen years of age.

the withdrawal method.

In some studies there has been a link between mental health problems and increased likelihood of adolescent pregnancy. Also, 50%-60% of those who became pregnant during adolescence had a history of sexual or physical abuse. Many adolescents, although they have the capability to think as well as an adult, [delete they] do not have the experiences on which to build.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Finally completed my essay here is the rest of it. How is my grammer, since that is my weakest spot! thanks!!

Health Promotion for Adolescent Pregnancy
Health Promotion programs are designed to reduce the number of adolescent pregnancies; these programs aim to improve contraceptive use and to modify the high risk behaviors associated with adolescent pregnancy. Successful strategies to prevent adolescent pregnancy include community programs to improve social development, responsible sexual behavior education, and improved contraceptive counseling and delivery. These strategies include all three learning domains: cognitive, affective, and psychomotor. To work successfully with adolescents health care providers must use a facilitative approach, working with adolescents as partners, they must provide guidance but avoid control, and listen carefully to youth, and work to understand their perspective(). These strategies should begin before initial sexual activity and continue throughout the adolescent years.
Adolescent Social Development Programs
Adolescent social development programs target social and psychological skills that are necessary to avoid high risk behaviors such as early sexual activity (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). These programs are designed to increase social skills and attachment to school and family (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). These programs aim to provide recreational activities, incentives for secondary education, employment for older adolescents, and neighborhoods with plentiful community resources – such as parks, libraries and recreational areas. These programs operate on the idea that adolescents who delay sexual activity have high educational goals, peers with similar norm, and parent child relationships characterized by supervision, support, and open communication (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). These programs are initiated well before the onset of sexual activity with the belief that keeping adolescents goals high, and minds busy there will be a decrease in risk behavior; this type of learning is through psychosocial learning domain.
Comprehensive Sex Education Programs
Comprehensive sex education programs focus on reducing high risk sexual behaviors by presenting age appropriate and culturally sensitive information about the risks associated with unprotected sexual activity, use of contraceptives, and strategies for prevention of pregnancy (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). Health care providers running these programs should actively involve all participants, allow adequate time for interactive exchange, and teach communication skills necessary to avoid social pressures that may influence sexual activity (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). Health care providers should support adolescents in development of leadership skills through participation in planning services for their peers, let them initiate and direct projects, as well as share decision making (). These programs should be initiated before sexual activity begins but is also appropriate for adolescents who are already engaging in sexual activities; this type of learning is through the cognitive learning domain.
Sex and Contraceptive Counseling
Successfully improving contraception use could have profound effects on adolescent pregnancy rates: the pregnancy rate is 85 percent among young couples who are sexually active for one year without using contraception, and 15 to 30 percent of sexually active adolescents do not use contraception (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). Health care providers should engage all adolescents in confidential, open, and non-judge-mental discussions independent of caregivers (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). Adolescents should be counseled on appropriate contraception options, and condom use should be encouraged regardless of whether another contraceptive method is used (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). Provide adolescents with confidential access to condoms and education on consistent and proper use. Demonstrate how to use condoms, ask adolescent to perform return demonstration for practice. Discuss common misconceptions, side effects, and other benefits of contraceptives in simple, age appropriate terms (Gantt, Rosenthal & As-Sanie, 2004). Contraceptive adherence should be discussed at every visit, as well as, monitoring whether modifications to the plan are needed. This prevention strategy should be in place right at the beginning of sexual activity; this type of learning is through affective learning.

Greetings!

Actually, your grammar is pretty good! Here are some suggestions for you:

To work successfully with adolescents, health care providers must use a facilitative approach. Working with adolescents as partners, they must provide guidance but avoid control, and listen carefully to youth, and work to understand their perspective

These programs are initiated well before the onset of sexual activity with the belief that keeping adolescents' goals high, and minds busy, will result in a decrease in risk behavior; this type of learning is through psychosocial learning domain. - You may not have noticed, but you started four sentences in a row with "These programs..." Try to vary your word choice and sentence structure more.

non-judgmental (or, as I see that you are in Canada, if you use British spellings it is probably "non-judgemental.")

Good job!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

reply, that was a lot of help, I guess my grammer is getting better :D

Yes, it must be! Next we'll work on spelling "grammar"--kidding, kidding! :-))

Best regards,

Sarah, EssayForum.com