Essay Title: Something Different That Day

The bus arrived after quarter minutes when I waited at the stop. As always, the same passengers were seen sitting on their regular seats. I sat on the same seat too, beside my friend, well; we came to know each other through the journey on the bus! It was the same bus I got onto everyday, but that day, as I sat down, I sensed something was different.

There were no noises made by few kids on the bus, no gossips by the aged aunts, even, my bus friend remained silent. Also, the conductor, sat in a place, but on other days he used to stand, holding the bar. I spoke a little with my friend, but she said she was not feeling well, and did not want to talk. I did not force her.

That day, the passengers were not getting off the bus when they reached their destination. They sat and waited for no reason. Nevertheless, when I reached my destination, the driver did not stop and went ahead. I jumped off my seat and said him to stop when at least five men came from the seat behind and caught me! I was frightened. They seemed to be kidnappers and yes, they were. I tried to free myself; they placed a weapon on my neck. No one on the bus moved, from the back, my friend said me to calm down and obey them and I did.

I did not know where they were taking us, dusk begun to appear. The kidnappers were sitting at the back seats and relaxing. Gradually, I took my cell phone, and messaged my family inspector. I turned my phone silent, later they replied they will help. I hardly looked at the address outside the window and sent a text it to the police. I thought of trying to stop the bus. I told some passengers to get down of the bus with the excuse of peeing. And they did, stop at a place, nearby the address I told to the police. Fortunately, there was only one toilet, and there were many people, with kids. They took a lot of time. I called the police and said where we are.

The police did not arrive, we all were tensed. No one had their mobile phones, except me, all were snatched by the men. No one could call their near ones for help. As soon as we were getting into the bus, the police van arrived. The bus driver was told to drive away faster, but luckily he did not! The police men entered the bus, and arrested them. They took them away to the station and thanked all of us for the bravery! Well, other passengers thanked me for informing the police. We were glad that we were not harmed by the men.

I never wanted to sense something suspicious and different again! From the next day, while getting on the bus, I look at everyone's faces, to know if something is wrong or no. But, that situation never happened again.

You used some strange word choices "quarter minutes" the quarter word seems unnecessary

i would change the verb "I sat on the same seat..." to something more descriptive like "I flopped down onto the same seat that had been mine for years next to my best friend."

I would suggest starting a new sentence there as well bc the punctuation with "well" is odd

your sentence about "It was the same bus I got onto everyday" is redundant

give your bus friend a name to make it seem more personal

You misused the word "nevertheless" you would only use that word if you did get off normally not if something different happened

"I tried to free myself (but) they placed a weapon on my neck

No one on the bus moved (but) from the back, my friend (told) me to calm down and obey them(,) (so) I did. ---- some suggested replacements

(and) dusk beg(a)n to appear

try to read over the essay again yourself because a lot of the verb tenses don't match messing with the chronology of the story line

... By any chance, do you mean fifteen minutes ? quarter minute means one quarter of a minute which literally has no significance.


.... is this your friend's name?


Kids made no noises and no gossips by the aged aunts. My friend too remained quiet.