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'A basis for human rights' - What would you tell the founding fathers?


chessman567 5 / 170 11  
May 26, 2012   #1
Hello,
I need some ideas on this essay. The prompt is What would you tell the founding fathers? I want the ideas to be unique: meaning different from the usual reply. For example, the normal reply might be: you have created a magnificent world for us all...

I started on this writing prompt and I got this far. Thanks so much guys! Feel free to criticize: I'm new to this forum!

Adorned with flowing robes and a flaming torch, Lady Liberty symbolizes peace between nations and the freedom from oppression. Her magnificent presence makes me honored to be born into Mother America. I thank my founding fathers for making it possible for us all to live together as one family, united by human rights, equality, and freedom.

Chen GuangCheng's story horrified many around the globe as humanity hears of how this blind civil rights activist was abused and harassed by his Chinese captors. Chen daringly escaped to an U.S embassy in Beijing, willingly placing his life in the hands of the founding fathers of America. Chen knows that the U.S. will help him because of America's fight for human rights throughout the globe.

I thank my founding fathers for providing a basis for human rights in the core of America.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
May 31, 2012   #2
This is coming along fine. If you have to make it long, you could add the contrast between what was written, "give me your poor, your hungry,..." and compare how it was then, to the 'border wars' we have going on now, trying to keep poor people out of the country. (Just to liven things up!)

:)
OP chessman567 5 / 170 11  
May 31, 2012   #3
Thanks so much! That was only a short section of my essay. My essay is actually a lot longer. Maximum is 400 words, however. I don't get what you mean by ou could add the contrast between what was written, "give me your poor, your hungry,..."
djrunn3r 1 / 2  
May 31, 2012   #4
"Give me your poor, your hungry" might refer to the founding fathers talking about them being the nurturing source of America. Thus, when the founding fathers write this, they're saying they will accept those who are poor and hungry and provide for them. With that in mind, I think Susan is wanting you take this concept and apply it to the present day. Are the poor and hungry being taken care of in the present time? Were these so called poor and hungry better off in those times, when the founding fathers were around, then today? Answering some of these questions would add a lot more depth and variety to your essay (which has amazing potential by the way) making it overall more appealing. Cheers!
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
May 31, 2012   #5
...Her magnificent presence makes me feel honored to be born into Mother America. I thank my founding fathers for making it possible for us all to live together as one family, united by human rights, equality, and freedom. ..(that previous sentence is beautiful)[/i]

I think this paragraph needs more of[i]
an intro, rather than mentioning "horror, horrifying" instances in the first sentence...
Chen GuangCheng's story horrified many around the globe as humanity hears of how this blind civil rights activist was abused and harassed ...
by his Chinese captors. Chen daringly escaped to an U.S embassy in Beijing, willingly placing his life in the hands of the founding fathers of America. Chen knows that the U.S. will help him because of America's fight for human rights throughout the globe.

I thank my founding fathers for providing a basis for human rights in the core of America.
KatRice09 - / 1  
Oct 10, 2012   #6
What Would I Tell America's Founding Fathers; essay ideas

I need some ideas for the Patriots Pen "What would I tell America's Founding Father" ideas. I don't even have a clue on what I should write about or what would be suitable for this topic..

Essay length: 300-400 typewritten words. Deadline is November 1st. Poetry not acceptable.

I am not by any means trying to get an idea so I don't have to go through the trouble of thinking, but merely getting others ideas and expanding from those ideas.

Please help,
Kat
hansen_abelle - / 1  
Oct 14, 2012   #7
Hey kat,
Here are some ideas:
what good things they did
what they could have done differently
-abelle


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