Topic: Ties - Satire help

Hi, my assignment is to write a satire criticizing any topic. i have the topic: Ties (and why they're pointless and stupid and stuff like that). I just need help writing my satire. Anyone have any ideas to help me get going? I can talk about ties and criticize them forever, but that's not what a satire is and i need help with ideas to write about. Thanks

perhaps you could employ humor and hyperbole. such as

what are these strange, stretched-out, satin and silky snakes that hang from our necks? what purpose do they serve?
They certainly do dazzle the eye, such colors and patterns, why, they are no different than snakes at all.
they are apparently strangling themselves, in their complicated knots from Windsor or Prince Albert, they must be royalty
is their purpose to strangle us?
they were most likely designed by women, to cover the unsightly neck and hairy chest area of men

I clearly am no writer, but I wanted to offer my thoughts