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Thesis statement for an argumentative essay about music


Rolyet270 1 / 4  
Jan 10, 2010   #1
I have an English essay, I chose two books and my two books are:
This is your brain on music, and The world in six songs
I would like to do an argumentative essay. I have to write about a "thread" that runs through the books, and it is Music.

These are some of my points
Music has become a universal language in our world,
people get emotionally attached to music,
Music communicates emotion and ideas,
it is exploited,
anyone is able to create it,
and is a way of learning.

My thesis is developing along the lines of:
Music has become a fundamental part of the world and daily lives

I know my thesis is weak, what can I do to make it stronger/better?
Lydia 6 / 13  
Jan 11, 2010   #2
In other to have a good thesis statement, you need some attitude in it to make it intriguing or to attract the reader's attention.
OP Rolyet270 1 / 4  
Jan 11, 2010   #3
Thank you! This really helps me.
OP Rolyet270 1 / 4  
Jan 15, 2010   #4
My thesis changed:
Music is a very important part or our lives and without it we would not be as advanced as we are today.
How is this??
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 17, 2010   #5
Music is a very important part or our lives and without it we would not be as advanced as we are today.

The word very is always weak, because you only have to use it when you lack a way of DEMONSTRATING the extensiveness of whatever very is modifying. Also, very is abstract and inexact. A thesis should be specific and "arguable."

What does it mean for a thesis to be arguable? Well, I don't think anyone would argue with this thesis you have here. However, if you make an argument that music is more important to society's development than language, that is something people might argue against!

You can argue that language is a form of music, and that music is therefore more fundamental and significant. That sort of controversial approach makes a good thesis. Argue something people can disagree with.

:-)
brittdeno 1 / 6  
Jan 17, 2010   #6
Good points, Kevin!

Just some fodder to think about -- when I was in college, I wrote a paper for my linguistic anthropology class about the evolution of language. I started out by talking about singing/music: how it is universal to every society, how singing may have helped lay the basis for the evolution of our vocal chords so we can talk, how it is used to bring people together for community and to promote altruistic behavior (think about singing in churches!). Taylor, you're on the right path by thinking about music and society; brainstorm ways music may have shaped society as we know it! I always liked thinking of my thesis paragraphs as a funnel, starting out broadly and then narrowing down to a specific, arguable thesis. This topic is perfect for that since music IS such a universal constant.

Best of luck!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 21, 2010   #7
That's a great discussion, Britt. It is interesting that good speakers know how to keep a melodious quality to their voices; this is the sort of thing that makes you think again about the definition of music.

That explanation for thesis statements is great, too.

Related: is this thesis statement about music good?

Music is everywhere, we listen to music throughout our lives, there are many type of music, such as rock & roll, classical, country, marching band and operas.

or should i write more? my essay is about classifaction/divide essay


This thesis statement is probably a bit too narrow. As it is, I cannot tell what it is going to be about, as all you have provided is a broad definition. As this is, it's not really a thesis statement but rather an opening sentence, a "hook" to get readers interested. Your thesis should start out broad and then narrow down to the exact statement near the end, much like a funnel. You should include something about classification and division in the essay, and a great amount of detail as to what you will be classifying or dividing.

I hope this helps. Refer to: https://essayforum.com/graduate/good-entrance-application-long-792/
Tong - / 3  
Jan 22, 2010   #8
My thesis changed:
Music is a very important part or our lives and without it we would not be as advanced as we are today.
How is this??

It is still significantly generalization as the audience would be in doubt how important this part (music) is, then why without it we would not be as advanced as we are today? this thesis will raise at least two subtopics you are going to discuss in the body:

1) the importance of music
2) is it definitely necessary for us to be advanced with music?

These two subtopics contain lots of arguments you are going to settle in the body. At least, you should narrow down them. My suggestion is:

Music is one of many important parts of our lives because it can be an approach not only to reduce each of our mental tension but also to inspire our feelings in artistic sense.

Then, there are only two subtopics to develop into two paragraphs in the body:

1) music is an approach to reduce people's mental tension
2) music inspires people's feelings in artistic sense

You can use those ideas from your beginning brainstorming as supporting ideas for each subtopics. Hope this from mine is helpful. Nice weekend!


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