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Thesis help: Education better or worse?


answers: 6
Jun 30, 2007, 07:16pm   #1
Can anyone help me come up with a thesis for this question:

how the education of your generation is better or worse than the education of your parent's generation.

What else could I add about modern day education?

Greetings!

The thing that strikes me as the most important distinction between the education of the two generations is the advent of computers, and particularly, the internet. The internet has opened up the world in a way that has never been possible before. How about something like this:

Today's generation of student's has access to more information at their fingertips than could ever have been conceived of before the invention of personal computers and the internet. Although all schools are still not created equal, virtually all allow students some access to the internet, providing them with a far greater potential for learning a wide variety of information in a short period of time. For this reason, the education of today has the potential to be superior to that of previous generations; it is up to educators to make sure it lives up to its potential.

Or, if you prefer, you could argue that it is not living up to its potential because too many schools do not have the money for enough computers. There are many ways you could approach it.

I hope this gives you some ideas!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jul 2, 2007, 12:48am   #3
COuld anyone proofread my essay? It is suposed to be 750, but does it have to be?



Education in the 21st century has changed profoundly. In our technological world today, modern day advances and techniques, such as the inevention of computers, particularly the internet, has made learning enjoyable. Because of wide assortment of learning tools made availble to children these days, students no longer have to stand in long lines at the library. All of the essential information they need for school can now be found online. Teachers are also finding out that computers are helpful, too. With the computer, teachers now can correct papers, change grades, and allow their students to complete classroom materials. Intrestenly, however, this has become a dilemma for schools.

Today, teachers and educators are trying to contemplate a way to employ computers without overspending. Much of the new technology being intregated into schools are very costly, and schools simply just do not have the funds to cover the expence. What's more, there is not enough space in schools to withhold all of the new technology. Also, it is the fact that they just do not have the adequate training and support. Despite the setbacks, teachers are finding other means of introducing better educational programs to students. Strangly enough, the benefits of television in schools are evident. More and more educational programs are being created spesefically for educational purposes. Unlike before, television programs such as the Discovery Channel, and the History Channel channels teach children about American History, world cultures, languages, and mathamatical equations.

Amazing advances in technology have occurred in the past one hundred years, moving from the old grayish projector, to the overhead projector, and the to the World Wide Web. And it is not just the educators who are jumping on the bandwagon. Ordanairy people who know nothing about technology are beginning to comprehend the significance of the internet, and is changing their lives in which they live. It is hard to envision life without technology. Technological discoveries in the twenty-first century have prospered our world. The web and television are highly useful tools and can be used in any classroom. Parents can no longer think of teaching as a complicated chore. They can just insert a CD-Rom they purchase from a local store, and their child is learning online immediately. Unfortunantly, there are some students who do not see the benifits of the technology. Instead, they browse per-to-per web sites such as Myspace, YouTube, and other online gambilling pages.

This has caused a greate concern for schools trying to intrograde computeres in classrooms. With drawbacks to the use of the internet, there are positive outcomes. Computers are still being widley used to the fullest. The key to the use of the computer, is controling how much time students spend, and where they spend their time. This can ensure they are reciving the highest quality of eduation their parents never received before.
Greetings!

I see you've been working hard! Good job! Whether a shorter paper will be acceptable to your instructor depends on him or her. However, I would expect that normally, if the assignment was for 750 words, 475 would not be a passing grade. You might want to delve a little deeper into some of the disadvantages of computers and the internet and the potential problems, and present some ways that these problems can be overcome.

I have made some corrections for you. Be sure to run your paper through a spell-checker; I found quite a few spelling errors and I may have missed some. :-)

Education in the 21st century has changed profoundly over the past generation. In our technological world today, modern day advances and techniques, such as the invention of computers, particularly the internet, have made learning enjoyable. Because of the wide assortment of learning tools made availble to children these days, students no longer have to stand in long lines at the library. All of the essential information they need for school can now be found online. Teachers are also finding out that computers are helpful, too. With the computer, teachers now can correct papers, change grades, and allow their students to complete classroom materials. Interestingly, however, this has become a dilemma for schools.

Today, teachers and educators are trying to contemplate a way to employ computers without overspending. Much of the new technology being integrated into schools is very costly, and schools simply just do not have the funds to cover the expense. What's more, there is not enough space in schools to hold all of the new technology. Also, [delete "it is the fact that"] they just do not have [delete "the"] adequate training and support. Despite the setbacks, teachers are finding other means of introducing better educational programs to students. Strangly enough, the benefits of television in schools are evident. More and more educational programs are being created specifically for educational purposes. Unlike before, television programs such as the Discovery Channel, and the History Channel [delete "channels"] teach children about American History, world cultures, languages, and mathematical equations.

Amazing advances in technology have occurred in the past one hundred years, moving from the old grayish projector, to the overhead projector, [delete "and the"] to the World Wide Web. And it is not just the educators who are jumping on the bandwagon. Ordinary people who know nothing about technology are beginning to comprehend the significance of the internet, and it is changing their lives in many ways. It is hard to envision life without technology. Technological discoveries in the twenty-first century have prospered our world. The web and television are highly useful tools and can be used in any classroom. Parents can no longer think of teaching as a complicated chore. They can just insert a CD-Rom they purchase from a local store, and their child is learning online immediately. Unfortunately, there are some students who do not see the benefits of the technology. Instead, they browse [are you sure of this term? per-to-per ] web sites such as Myspace, YouTube, and [delete "other"] online gambling pages.

This has caused a great concern for schools trying to integrate computers into classrooms. With drawbacks to the use of the internet, there are also positive outcomes. Computers are still being widely used to the fullest. The key to the use of the computer [delete,] is controling how much time students spend, and where they spend their time. This can ensure they are receiving the highest quality of education possible--one their parents never received before.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jul 9, 2007, 11:26pm   #5
I changed it a bit, but I think this is my final essay. I just have to write a conclusion. But could anyone help me edit what I have so far?

Thanks!

------------------------------------------------------------ ---

Reforming America's Educational Values


The one thing that strikes me about the two generations is distinction in the lack of help from the government in our education system and how much school has culturally, ethnically, and racially diverse it has become. For nearly fifty years, the government has been under the impression that besieging students with homework will challenge them to think for themselves. Consequently, American kids have been less concerned with their homework and more fascinated with their Ipods.

I have attended both public school education and private school education in my life time, and the differences are unbelievable! During my time in private school, I felt a sense of understanding. Throughout the years I spent in public school, I was overwhelmed by the excessive amount of homework, the congested classrooms, in which I spent many hours, and the unsafe environment I had to study in. My public education was slighted.

Students today are growing up in a multimedia environment where technology surrounds us. All day long I hear phones buzzing, and radios that speak a foreign language I cannot interpret. I wonder how people made it in the past without cell phones or other high-tech necessities.


American schools are in crisis. I do not understand how we can live in a country full of riches and our education not is the top priority. I am really disappointed at our current leadership. Now-n-days, students are plagued with an onslaught of curriculum our government thinks is plausible. But this is the least of our worries.

In 2001, the No Child Left Behind act was signed into law by President George W. Bush. The law has created a scorn towards teachers. There is little room left to teach the proper way. This new law has forced teachers to coach students and teach them the basics so they can score high in order to obtain funds for their schools. And if they fail, so do the school.

It never cases to amazes me how much the government has humiliated and embarrassed young people for the entire world to see. The nature of school has changed dramatically in the past decade because of these laws. Many teachers and students are feeling betrayed by our government. Sure kids understand what writing is, but because of these laws, teachers are unable to teach their students how to put their thoughts on paper and make sense out of what they are trying to say.

Many parents will often cite the existing problems within our schools are because of the lack of help their children are receiving and are turning to an alternative means of educating their children. Home schooling is steadily becoming the number one choice for parents when it comes to education because the public school system is failing to meet their child's academic, individual, and handicap needs.


How did we get to this point? The answer is simple. It is because the government retains control over the public school system. They decide what type of content will be on our curriculum. Instead of taking two years of English, for instance, we are now forced to endure another two more. Nonetheless, I can not simply place our system; there are many factors to blame.

Students learn from modeling. Their models are programs on MTV. And the only foreign language they are being taught is the Music they listen to. When you ask a student what freedom means to them, they will answer Pepsi or Coke, Verizon or Cingular? Do you blog? This is pushing our children father and farther behind. It's absurd.

If we want to utilize the education system, we must cut back on how many external influences are taking in. Improving our schools does not begin by challenging out system, but rather challenging our kids. The pop culture children are growing up in today threatens to erode them from the very fundamental education that will help them become successful citizens later on in life.

Former President Clinton once said that "We" can make "America" better if we suspend our cynicism. Trusting in our government will only hurt us and our children. Our lives are made up of choices. Why not let our first ethical choice be for a better, school system for all of our children?
Greetings!

I feel as if your essay has lost some of its focus; I'm not sure I entirely "get" the logic of the first paragrah. First of all, the lack of government help and the new diversity in schools are two things, not "one thing." Then, in the next sentence, you add another issue, which is homework. The third sentence about iPods is apparently meant ironically, although I had to think about it: "why would assigning homework make kids be fascinated by iPods?" It just seems as if, rather than evolving around one thesis statement, your opening is about four different things. Nonetheless, if you keep your first sentence, you might want to rewrite it like this:

The one thing that strikes me about the two generations is the distinction in the lack of help from the government in our education system and how culturally, ethnically, and racially diverse schools have become.

I do not understand how we can live in a country full of riches and yet, our educational system is not the top priority. I am really disappointed in our current leadership. Nowadays

The law has created [delete "a"] scorn towards teachers. - It's not really clear how the law "created scorn." Also, weren't teachers underappreciated before the law, as well?

I can not simply place the blame on our system; there are many factors to blame.

And if they fail, so does the school.

If we want to utilize the education system, we must cut back on how many external influences are taken in - How do you propose to do this? Have the School Police come knocking down doors to make sure kids are not enjoying themselves in their spare time? I don't think you've really thought this through. What you are proposing is to shut our kids off from the rest of the world.

While I agree with your final sentence that a better system is needed, the prompt was, how the education of your generation is better or worse than the education of your parent's generation, so you need to mention that again. Overall, it seems to me that your essay lacks cohesiveness now; I think you need to tighten the focus a bit.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jul 10, 2007, 09:09pm   #7
Thank you for your response, I'll try writing it better. Is there anyway I can delete the other essays I posted? I tried to edit it, but it seems that I am unable to do that now.

Thanks!



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