My reasons for attending college are not simply because college graduates make more money, have a better social standing, or any of the typical overemphasized reasons.
I am in college because I like having fun learning; about things that I am really interested in rather than courses that I am simply required to take like in high school.
Currently, I am a first year student studying computer science at Michigan Technological University. I am a full time student taking the maximum number of courses a semester.
But that is not all I am an artist, dreamer, pianist, singer, web & graphics designer, cyclist, treasure hunter, hopeless romantic, entrepreneur, adventurer, lifeguard, technologist, optimist and a person with my own sense of style. Currently looking for a scholarship.
- Kevin
Greetings!
Your essay shows you to be a man of many talents! I have just a few suggestions to do with punctuation:
My reasons for attending college are not simply because college graduates make more money, have a better social standing, or any of the typical overemphasized reasons.
I am in college because I like having fun learning [omit semicolon] about things that I am really interested in rather than courses that I am simply required to take, [add comma] like in high school.
Currently, I am a first year student studying computer science at Michigan Technological University. I am a full time student taking the maximum number of courses a semester.
But that is not all: [add colon] I am an artist, dreamer, pianist, singer, web and [don't use &] graphics designer, cyclist, treasure hunter, hopeless romantic, entrepreneur, adventurer, lifeguard, technologist, optimist and a person with my own sense of style. Currently looking for a scholarship.
Your last sentence is a fragment, and rather curt. You might want to expand that a bit.
Good work!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
I am in college because I like having fun learning about things that I am really interested in rather than courses that I am simply required to take, like in high school.
Would that make it a run-on sentence or not?
Greetings!
No, technically, that is not a run-on sentence. A run-on sentence is one which has two independent clauses. For instance, if you said, "I am in college because I like having fun learning about things that I am really interested in, high school courses were less interesting because they were required." -- that would be a run-on sentence because it is really two sentences.
I have been debating whether to tell you to put a comma after "interested in"-- as best I can tell, it would be optional there.
I hope this helps!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
