Please,i need your constructive criticism on my Personal Statement bellow:
The principle of success by William clement which says; 'what mind can conceive can be achieved' has since been a source of inspiration for realization of my professional goal. It drives me into action when I proposed to study chemical engineering after high school, and the dream is now realized. The same hope gives me confident to pursue a master's System and Energy engineering.
I got a strong background in science subjects which includes; Physics, chemistry, mathematic and biology at high school. Studying those subjects was my hobby then, and it reflects on my way of life. When I realized that solving mathematical problems boost one's intelligent quotient and enhances logical reasoning, I dwelled more on qualitative reasoning problem especially when speed and distance are involved. Paying attention to biological and chemical stands on characteristics of organic substance, I discovered that raw materials could be processed into finished products for the benefit of mankind. Put all these together, I chose chemical engineering as career, as it is the only discipline that make justice to that.
During my undergraduate studies, I was exposed to many interesting courses such as; Thermodynamic, Transport phenomenon, Heat and mass transfer, Separation process, Process design and optimization, reaction and kinetic and polymer technology . I found great challenges in those courses anyway, but I adjust to the system immediately and overcome it. I scored distinction in all the courses (Find it in my transcript). At the end of the day taking those courses becomes a great advantage because it crystalizes my engineering skill. This inspires me to develop a dissertation on Biotechnology during my undergraduate thesis. Having realized that Biotechnological tools are those process of bio scientific interest that use the chemistry of living organism through cell manipulation to develop new and alternative methods aimed at cleaner and more effective ways of producing traditional products and aesthetic beauty of the environment. The work was successful in-spite of the hurdles along the way which tends to impede my working speed. I did feel fulfilled when finally graduated among best ten students from the university with CGPA 4.11 out of 5.00 grading point.
Shortly after my convocation I gained a position at a reputable company, INNOVATIVE TECHNOLOGY RESOUCES NIG. LTD, where I developed skills in chemical engineering software such as; Hysys, ChemCAD, AutoCAD, Polymath, MathCAD, MathLAB and Design Expert. From this I found enormous beauty in the application of tools for modeling and simulation of engineering problems. Hydrocarbon fuel can be characterized and carry out its economic analysis, simulating process with the aid of Hysis and ChemCAD.
However, my professional goal is to be a Lecturer and get involved in Research and Development teams where I can contribute my knowledge of Design of Experiment (DOE), combine with my business background and strong communication skills to improved products, processed systems or services. To achieve this I need undergo a further study in engineering at Master level to enable me acquire more research experience. With my little awareness about world concern in demand for 'Clean-Up' technologies, I am particularly interested in development of mathematical model for Nano-scale cleaning of oil spilled area. This ambition is for me to be able to apply my skills on performance chemicals and materials in driving my professional goals towards achieving symbolic relationship with other disciplines.
Having found that the postgraduate programs at University of Sheffield encourage and help students actualize their research interest like my own, and the socially appealing nature of the university environment, I choose to pursue my master's degree in system and energy engineering at the University.
I would be very glad, if you select me for your postgraduate program.
to be a Lecturer and get involved in Research and Development teams where I can contribute my knowledge of Design of Experiment (DOE)
Hello friend, I bet the reader will respond well to this essay because you seem so diligent and motivated. I want to offer what help I can, and I'll start by mentioning that I think the way you express your aspiration can be improved. Above, this sentence implies that your goals include being a lecturer and getting involved in R & D, but these are not really goals. These are situations you can enter in order to achieve your real goals. As a lecturer, for example, you can benefit many different people directly or indirectly. What is the most important insight/idea you have gained? It's that idea, the one closest to your heart, that enables you to make a contribution that is really unique. Your most important idea can be the main idea of the paper and the basis for your choice of career path.
And what about that quote in the beginning? Maybe that has something to do with your most important idea. Can you add some more content in this essay to share your insight about conceiving with the mind and manifesting the conception into reality?
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