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Writing an introduction paragraph through cause and effect


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In this assignment, you will work to create an informative and dynamic introduction. A dynamic introduction is important to grab your readers' attention, and it also sets a tone for your essay. To write an effective introduction, writers use many different patterns of development to introduce their thesis statement and create interest that inspires readers to read the rest of the essay.

To Prepare Your Introduction:

Choose a pattern of development explained in your textbook from the list below:
Narrative
Description
Illustration
Process Analysis
Comparison and Contrast
Classification and Division
Definition
Cause and Effect
Use the pattern of development that you have selected to create your introduction.
At the end of your introduction, place your thesis statement.

"What makes the economy tick? What is the life blood of the economy? These are questions one might ask. Well I am here to tell you what makes them tick and ultimately survive. The answer is probably what you are already thinking: businesses. Businessnes, more particulary small business is the driving force behind the economy. What would happen if the economy nowadays starts going down-hill like it has in the past? That is where what is called the Great Recession of the past few years takes place. The Great Recession has evidently effected small businesses of all types. As a result of this, during the time of the Great Recession, if an employee has more seniority in the business, then they will not be laid off as will an employee that is new to the business."

This is my introducory paragrapgh used through cause and effect. I would like to know if it sufficent for the assignment posted and what changes should be made?

Aug 8, 2011, 05:26pm   #
I like this introduction, it is clear and well-oriented. Just, I think there may be some sentences you need to revise:

(Businessnes, more particulary small business is the driving force behind the economy.) I will add a comma in the middle:
==> Businessnes, more particulary small business, is the driving force behind the economy.

Another one is (That is where what is called the Great Recession of the past few years takes place.)
In my opinion, you may not use the word "where" and "what is called" together. Since this sentence emphasize the place, you may just say:

==> That is where the Great Recession of the past few years takes place.

These are just my opinions, and I am not professional, if my suggestions are useless, please forgive me.
I think this is pretty good. Be careful to avoid letting the complexity of your thinking get the best of you. You wrote this very well.

You took a big step, because the recession may cause businesses to have to downsize, but you arbitrarily leap to the issue of seniority and preference..... the real issue, the real effect, is the situation that necessitates downsizing. If you start talking about the particulars, like who gets laid off based on seniority, etc., then you are talking about something different.

:-)
"What makes the economy tick ? What
is the life blood of the economy ?
These are questions one might ask.
Well I am here to tell you what makes
them tick and ultimately survive. The
answer is probably what you are
already thinking: businesses .
Business"n"es,[remove n] more particulary small
business is the driving force behind
the economy . What would happen if
the economy "nowadays"[remove] starts going
down-hill like it has in the past? That
is where "what is called"[remove] the Great
Recession of the past few years takes
place . The Great Recession has
evidently [a]effected small businesses of
all types . ==>As a result of this , during the
time of the Great Recession, if an
employee has more seniority in the
business, then they will not be laid off
as will an employee that is new to the
business. "<== [ I don't understand how this part is relevant to the introduction.]

if you are trying to write about the effect of the recession on small businesses, you may consider this.

Ultimately, small scale enterprises are most affected[by the great recession]. while large cooperations may be bailed out by the government or survive due to large reserves of funds small businesses are not so lucky. Due to their limited funds, they are forced to lay off workers and to eventually fold up.


what do you think?



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