Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Essays   % width Posts: 3


Critique on philosophy essay regarding Western vs African medicine


mikaster 1 / -  
May 3, 2013   #1
I am a first year student and my current course requires me to do a semester of Philosophy of Science. One of the assignments I have received reads as follows:

What are the key differences between the Western and the African perspectives on health? (200 - 300 words)

It has to be answered as a mini-philosophy essay, and so I have written a basic form of the essay. The problem is that it feels off to me, and I can't complete the conclusion in a way that I see fit. I have no one else to give it to for critique, so I figured I'd put it up here and try to get some assistance:

In the following text I will describe the Western and African perspectives on health, focusing on the key differences between the two forms; namely their treatment choices, views of the human body and definitions of health.

By definition Western medicine relies on the use of medication and surgical intervention to treat symptoms and ultimately illness. This view is concerned with scientific evidence and uses a history of medical practice to diagnose illnesses. Conversely, traditional African medicine relies on spirituality and herbs to alleviate symptoms. Healers attribute their healing powers to knowledge passed down from previous generations, often in the form of stories (African medical traditions [sa]).

These two perspectives differ mainly in the way that they view the human body. In Western medicine the body is viewed as a machine comprised of various parts. Illness is the defectiveness of one of these parts, and so by looking at increasingly smaller parts the illness can be cured. African medicine sees the body in relation to the rest of its community and ancestors - illness is thus viewed as an imbalance in the patient's life or as interference by ancestors.

Western medicine views health as the absence of illness, whereas African medicine works to "reinstate the individual to a harmonious relationship with the social order" (Mokaila 2005). African medicine concerns itself with removing the causes of the ailment by means of herbs and spiritual intervention, while Western medicine chooses to ignore the causes and rather focus on eradicating the disease itself.

It is evident from the given text that Western and African medicine have sharply contrasting views with regards to health and treatment.
[271 words]
manjot 2 / 30  
May 3, 2013   #2
between the two forms; namely their treatment choices,

semi-colon use does not seem to be correct.

I'd say you do not need more than 3-4 paragraphs. Too many paragraphs seem messy. Give more meat to the conclusion, You still have some words to spare!

Like my post is its helpful :)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
May 11, 2013   #3
In the following text I will describe the Western and African perspectives on health, focusing on the key differences between the two forms; namely their treatment choices, views of the human body and definitions of health.

The following paragraphs are intended to discuss the main differences of Western and African perspectives on health in terms of their treatment choices, views on human body and definitions of health.

By definition Western medicine relies on the use of medication and surgical intervention to treat symptomsand ultimately illness .

By definition, Western medicine is based on drugs and surgery to treat symptoms.

Give more meat to the conclusion, You still have some words to spare

.... Yes, manjot is correct. It is too short and better expand it a bit more with the highlights of the above paras.


Home / Essays / Critique on philosophy essay regarding Western vs African medicine
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳