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'Continental Army Leader'; What would I tell America's Founding Fathers


Prissybubbles99 1 / 2  
Oct 25, 2012   #1
Its must be 300-400 words. This is what I have already:
Did you know one of our founding fathers controlled the Continental Army? It's true, George Washington was the leader of it. He also and a very important job at one time in Congress. Benjamin Franklin created electricity, he was a founding father. James Madison was the last founding father to die. Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence. John Adams was the first vice-president and helped draft the Declaration of Independence. Our founding fathers did many important jobs. And us Americans have the right to give our feedback.

We all have our opinions on our founding fathers decisions. I think that some decisions they made back then could have affected how our economy, lifestyle, and government are now. How did our founding fathers affect our country today? Well, because we did not keep the same balance as we had with our founding fathers it caused our government and economy to deform.

I need more ideas! please help!!!
tutu51595 6 / 19 3  
Nov 11, 2012   #2
reword "It's true, George Washington was the leader of it." maybe: Its true, that man was George Washington

The first paragraph sounds pretty awkward. after the first sentence, Try: Our founding fathers accomplished many things. George washington had an important job in Congress (elaborate on this statement), Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity (he didn't really create it), James Madison was the last founding father to die (a bit unecessary, try putting something he accomplished), Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and John Adams was the first vice-president and helped draft the Declaration of Independence.

what is the prompt exactly? i could give you more ideas.


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