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Our volleyball team - Short Answer on Common App

linzroz18Threads: 1 Posts: 2	Oct 27, 08, 10:02pm #1
Our volleyball team had just suffered our seventh consecutive loss. Our hope for a winning season was dashed as our hope for a championship had been games before. I cried due to the frustration and exhaustion that was consuming my body. The physical, mental, and emotional distress was wearing me out. Why was it necessary to put myself through all this grief? Why couldn't I quit and end this agony? When I looked into the eyes of my teammates I found the answer. I knew they were enduring the same experience that I was. They made the idea of quitting deteriorate. We were a family, helping each other at our lowest points. They pushed me at times when I felt I could no longer function. They had taught me that perseverance, dedication and integrity are important in conquering any challenge one's faced with. Is this a good response to the short answer portion of the common app? any spelling or grammer mistakes? Lindsay Houston

EF_Team5Threads: - Posts: 2693 [Moderator]	Oct 28, 08, 05:09pm #2
Good afternoon. Here are my thoughts: "Our volleyball team had just suffered our seventh consecutive loss. Our hope for a winning season was dashed as our hope for a championship had been games before. I cried due to the frustration and exhaustion that was consuming my body. The physical, mental, and emotional distress was wearing me out. Why was it necessary to put myself through all this grief? Why could I not quit and end this agony? When I looked into the eyes of my teammates I found the answer. I knew they were enduring the same experience that I was. They made the idea of quitting deteriorate. We were a family, helping each other at our lowest points. They pushed me at times when I felt I could no longer function. They had taught me that perseverance, dedication, and integrity are important in conquering any challenge one is faced with." I think this is a good response to the short answer prompt. It is difficult to make an impact with so few words, but I think you've done well. Regards, Gloria Moderator, EssayForum.com Gloria, EssayForum.com

linzroz18Threads: 1 Posts: 2	Oct 28, 08, 09:00pm #3
thank you sooo much what a big help Lindsay Houston

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