Toefl Essay "Playing games is important for both adults and children".

hi everyone,
I am preparing for the toefl Ibt. Please help me out in the writing section.
Thanks a lot.

Playing games is important for both adults and children. Agree or disagree.

In my opinion, I totally agree that playing games are important for both the children and the adults. Games proves to be beneficial for the adult and children. Games improves mental skill, physical strength of a person as well as it is best way for fun and entertainment. In the following paragraphs I will explain reasons to support my choice.

Games help the person to improve his mental skills. Many of the games allow the adult or a child to think conceptually while playing. For example, games which includes question and answer makes a person think about the particular question before giving answer thus it makes the person to think logically for the correct answer. Furthermore, this games also increase the observation and orientation of the child and adult. Many of the games involves to perform particular action or the task. For example, drum shiraz, is a game in which a person has to act without saying a single word, thus the other person observe the action performed in a more proper manner to get the correct answer. Therefore, mental games provide a mental exercise for the person.

Some games also helpful to keep oneself physically fit. Usually, a child or an adult get involve themselves in certain games which has physical activities. Such as, games with running, laughing, and so on. This games help a person to make use of physical labour along with the interesting activities, therefore a person perform his task and get a physical fitness without much stress.
The games are the best way for fun and entertainment. Every adult or a child get bored with their daily routine activities. While playing games they feel themselves in other world of entertainment with no worries and tension. Therefore, it is the best way to get relaxation. In addition to this, games also increases social skills, By playing games in group, helps to built up relationship with the group members and also better learning of collaborating nature.

In conclusion, I must say that playing games is very important for children and adult for developing their mental skills, physically fitness and to get interpersonal skills.

...playing games is important for both the children and the adults. Games prove to be beneficial for the adult and children. Games improves by improving mental skill and physical strength of a person as well as it is best way for while also providing fun and entertainment.

For example, games which includes question and answer make a person think about the particular question before giving answer; thus, the person is made to think logically for the correct answer.

Usually, a child or an adult gets involved themselves in certain games which have physical activities. These include running, laughing, and so on.

In conclusion, I must say that playing games is very important for children and adults for developing their mental skills, physical fitness, and to get interpersonal skills.

Thanks EF kelvin for your help.
Can you please give me some suggestions to score well in the exam.

Look at the advice that I just gave here http://www.essayforum.com/essay-writing-feedback-3/think-ski ll-person-should-have-order-succeed-modern-world-10049/#msg4 7620

You write very well in English, and you do not hae as many errors as that essay.

In this essay, your mistakes are not serious.

You can write: Playing games in a group helps to build up relationships among the group members and also leads to better learning. This is learning of collaborating nature.

You do not even really make many mistakes. Some of your sentences are unclear, but we all write unclear sentences sometimes.