1. The grammar needs work.
2. That doesn't matter at the moment, though, because you need to rewrite most of your essay anyway.
3. You are far too vague in the first half, and the second half is a list, not an essay. So contributing to a nation is good, and makes you a better person. Hooray! There must be dozens of ways, if not hundreds, that you could do this other than applying for this particular position. You need to be far more specific about why this particular program appeals.
Sean, EssayForum.com