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SAT essay- adversity helps us discover who we are

maverick288Threads: 5
Posts: 26
 Sep 10, 08, 07:38am   #1
Hi. I am an International student taking the SAT on my own. I was doing a practice test and would appreciate it if you could take a look at my essay and grade it on a scale of 1-6.

Assignment: Do you think ease does not challenge us and that we need adversity to help us discover who we are?

I take every obstacle in my life as a challenge. No matter how much I sometimes feel that a huge invisible hammer is about to knock me down to the ground, I have learnt to get back on my feet, unscathed; I am bolder and wiser with every step I take. I live knowing who I am and of my purpose in life. Such a valuable realization does not come knocking on just about anybody's door. I have faced hardship all my life, and although I sometimes wish that things could have been different, I am thankful that I have had my experience to teach me about myself. Having said that, I most certainly agree without hesitation that ease does not challenge us and that adversity truly helps us discover who we are.

I was born into an abusive home. My father was an alcoholic and frequently verbally and physically abused my mother and myself. For eleven years, I questioned my existence, which obviously at that point of time did not seem to be the product of a relationship built on love and trust. I also lacked self-confidence as I had been told by my father numerous times that I was not a wanted child. My mother could only do so much to protect me as my father controlled her every breath and move. Finally, my mother decided to get a divorce. Things started to take a turn for the better. I looked forward to a happy future with my mother.

Unfortunately, my mother passed away when I was fourteen. I was at the brink of my sanity. I did not know if I was strong enough to continue paddling the boat upstream. I often thought that someone up there was out to get me. I had had enough of His games and I was ready to pull the chord. However, the little voice in my head told me not to give up just yet. Under the adequate care of my grandparents, I pushed myself to get my life back together. I became stronger; and was ready to take on the world. I strived hard to get good grades in school and I even made my social life work. Once an isolated teenager, I became more outgoing and fun-loving; exemplifying the zest for life my mother once had.

Currently, I am pursuing the degree of my choice under a government scholarship. I am happy and blessed to live the life that has been given to me. I know for a fact that from this point on, I can overcome any challenge that comes my way as I will only come out a stronger and wiser person from the experience. I have become callous to life's hardships. Now, I am able to lift my chin high, smile and sing "ain't no mountain high enough..."

Carishma Menon
EF_Team5Threads: -
Posts: 2689
[Moderator]
 Sep 10, 08, 05:14pm   #2
Good afternoon.

Here are my thoughts:

"I take every obstacle in my life as a challenge. No matter how much I sometimes feel that a huge invisible hammer is about to knock me down to the ground, I have learned to get back on my feet (Remove comma) unscathed; I am bolder and wiser with every step I take. I live knowing who I am and of my purpose in life. Such a valuable realization does not come knocking on just about anybody's door. I have faced hardship all my life, and although I sometimes wish that things could have been different, I am thankful that I have had my experience to teach me about myself. Having said that, I most certainly agree without hesitation that ease does not challenge us and that adversity truly helps us discover who we are.

I was born into an abusive home. My father was an alcoholic and frequently verbally and physically abused my mother and myself. For eleven years, I questioned my existence, which obviously at that point of time did not seem to be the product of a relationship built on love and trust. I also lacked self-confidence as I had been told by my father numerous times that I was not a wanted child. My mother could only do so much to protect me as my father controlled her every breath and move. Finally, my mother decided to get a divorce. Things started to take a turn for the better. I looked forward to a happy future with my mother.

Unfortunately, my mother passed away when I was fourteen. I was at the brink of my sanity. I did not know if I was strong enough to continue paddling the boat upstream. I often thought that someone up there was out to get me. I had had enough of His games and I was ready to pull the chord. However, the little voice in my head told me not to give up just yet. Under the adequate care of my grandparents, I pushed myself to get my life back together. I became stronger; I was ready to take on the world. I strove hard to get good grades in school and I even made my social life work. Once an isolated teenager, I became more outgoing and fun-loving, exemplifying the zest for life my mother once had.

Currently, I am pursuing the degree of my choice under a government scholarship. I am happy and blessed to live the life that has been given to me. I know for a fact that from this point on, I can overcome any challenge that comes my way as I will only come out a stronger and wiser person from the experience. I have become callous to life's hardships. Now, I am able to lift my chin high, smile and sing "...ain't no mountain high enough..."

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Gloria, EssayForum.com

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