Greetings, and welcome back!
Let's take a quick look:
"The basis of the experiment was to find out which paper gliders would fly the farthest."
I would start with this sentence, since it tells the reader what the experiment is about.
"The larger the wing area, the farther it fly which is what the experiment prove."
How about: "The experiment was designed to prove that the larger the wing area, the farther the glider would fly."
"The day that the experiment was a rather breezy day which results in unusual distances
that the gliders traveled."
I would say "The day of the experiment" rather than "The day that." Then I would say, ". . . was breezy; the increased wind resulted in unusual flight distances."
"The basics for flight is drag, lift, and thrust."
You need to use "are" rather than is, since you are naming three things.
"Without these and there cannot flight."
Hmm . . . I'm not sure what you meant here. :-) Maybe, "Without these elements, flight cannot occur"?
"After that each were labeled with numbers to identify them apart."
How about: "Each glider was identified with a unique number."
"Each glider had 10 trials."
I would spell out "ten." This paragraph is pretty choppy, since it contains so many short sentences. I'm not sure what format you are required to use; would using bullets or numbers to list the steps be permissable? Short sentences wouldn't make a difference then. Otherwise, I recommend combining a couple of sentences, using a comma followed by "and."
"X axis being the number of trials and Y being the distance."
This is an incomplete sentence. I suggest saying, "On the graph, X represented the number of trials and Y represented the distance."
"The result of the experiment was that the smaller the wing, the shorter distance it travels."
I would say "the glider" rather than "it." Also, insert "the" before "distance."
"As is evident in the experiment."
Delete this sentence. It's incomplete, and it states a fact that is already obvious. :-)
"Though the plane also had to have weight."
Delete "Though."
"Without weight, the glider would not travel very far even with a large wing area. Since without weights, the glider would have been to light."
Combine these sentences: "Without weights, the glider would have been too light to travel very far, even with a large wing area." (Note "too" instead of "to.")
"Newspaper which is too flimsy would have make a bad glider."
How about: "Newspaper would have been too flimsy to make a good glider."
"Wing area is important among other things, too small a wing and it would barely fly. Too large a wing would barely fly too. Depending on the weight and thrust of the plane. The experiment was a success, which prove that a large wing area contributes to longer flight to achieve more distance."
You've got a few problems with this paragraph, including an incomplete sentence in the middle. How about: "This experiment proves that wing area is important to the distance a glider can fly. A glider with a small wing area will barely fly; the same is true of a glider with too large a wing area (depending on the weight and thrust of the plane)."
"The experiment proved my hypothesis that the larger the wing area the farther it would fly."
I would conclude with this sentence, but change "it" to "a glider."
I hope this helps. Good luck with the science fair!
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Sarah, EssayForum.com
|