Good afternoon!
OK, let me make sure I've got this right: your instructor wants to focus on mechanics and the first sentence is your thesis; you also need a few more sentences to fulfill your length requirement. Let's see what we've got here:
"I like to play basketball for many reasons; because of the competitiveness, the fact that it helps me relieve stress, and it helps me stay in shape. I love to compete and I love competing at a high level. The feeling of pushing myself to my breaking point and challenging myself is the best feeling. Basketball is one of the only sports which you can play on your own or in a group. The challenge of getting better is what motivates me to improve. When I play basketball my competitiveness takes over, and my killer instinct come into play. I hate losing; not that I'm a sore loser, I just prefer to win. I like competing against my friends. I like having the ball in my hands for a game-winning shot. I like trash talking with the other players. You have a lot of short sentences that could be combined to give your essay more flow. How about, "Basketball is one of the only sports in which you can play on your own or in a group; I like competing against my friends and trash talking with the other players. The challenge of getting better is what motivates me to improve. When I play my competitiveness takes over, and my killer instinct comes into play. I hate losing; not that I'm a sore loser, I just prefer to win. I like having the ball in my hands and getting the game-winning shot."
Another reason I like to play basketball is because it helps me relieve stress. Whenever I feel stressed out, I go to the park and play ball. I find basketball can change mymind. When I play basketball I am having a good time, and I forget of all the stress I had. How about putting something in here about how the game is a game of skill and it improves your focus, taking your attention away from the stressor and instead honing it to improve your skills? Thus I like to play basketball because it helps me relieve stress. Nice concluding sentence here.
I also like to play basketball because it keeps me fit. It helps me stay in shape This is kind of a redundant sentence; you could remove it and be fine. I play basketball twice a week, so I get a good aerobic workout. I like to keep my body in shape, and basketball is a good form of aerobic exercise How about putting something in here about it using all of the major muscle groups and conditioning your heart and lungs? . Another reason I like basketball is because you don't need a group of people to play; you can play with just another friend, in a one-on-one game What about by yourself? Perfecting the free-throw shot?. Basketball helps me work on increasing my speed and endurance; it also helps me build stamina. How about, "This is why" or "These are the reasons why" I like to play basketball because of the competitiveness, it relieves my stress, and it helps keep my body in shape."
This essay is very well organized and it flows nicely. I think you're within your target length (you've got about 24 sentences right now); if you add in a little bit more detail in those couple of places, you will have no problem with that sentence count.
Good luck!
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Gloria, EssayForum.com
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