Advised to write between 350 and 600 words. I tried by best:)
Faith lost nowadays
Nowadays, we often hear elders say that we, young people are no longer interested in religion, and thus losing belief in God. That may be true for some, but in most cases it's not, young people still are interested in religion, just not the way the old people are, and quite frankly, where's the time to be?
The world is getting tougher to live in as each day passes. Young middle class people, have to study really hard in schools/colleges, to even get a half decent job. The rich folks may not have to worry about studying hard, but still they have to do it more or less. Then most of the students in high school or colleges tend to get a part time job, so they don't have to ask their parents for pocket money. Then there comes friends, and social events, that we tend to put on top of all this. People nowadays at any cost have to "hang out" with friends, or "go to parties, social events" etc per se. When they do get free time, young people tend to just watch the tv, or play video games, go to the movies, baseball games etc. All forms of entertainment. They do this because, quite frankly, it's just more fun than religion. But all good things taste bad, in this case, religion. Then when they reach middle age, mostly 25+, they graduate from college and goes out searching for a good job, to save up and start a family. That's the plan of almost every average person, and this is where the struggle of life begins. Everyone wants a good job, but a fraction of them actually get them, with the job shortages worldwide. Then they have to put up with half decent jobs, spending their hours pleasing their bosses just to earn some bread.
Still, after people have their own family, they still find free time to relax. And that's when, even if they don't believe in God, tend to go to mosques, temples, churches(whichever religion they belong to) to get some peace in their mind, and let go of their emotions. These people do not go to church on a weekly basis, follow their religion strictly, but rather go there to find answers to their respective lives. For one moment, when they go there, they don't have to worry about the outside world, what is happening to other people etc. Believe in God or not, people feel better about them, and find new meaning to life. Some of the people start believing in God, and start to follow their religion. To my knowledge, all religion teach the same thing in different ways, and the main goal is to find peace in life, and find that bit of connection you need with God.
In a busy world like ours, young people don't have the time to be totally devoted to religion like the elders, but they do find time to be involved in it from time to time. My conclusion is that, that young people are still interested in religion, just may not be like our elders want it to be, but who can blame us, in the world we live in. So whatcha guys think?You really have to focus more on your main subject. In the second paragraph, you elaborate way too much on some things that aren't really your topic, and seem to veer off occasionally, as in, ..."where the struggle of life begins"..."with the job shortages worldwide,". ." pleasing their bosses just to earn some bread". I know what you are saying, but you need to be clearer on your opinion. Do you think the younger generation is so different than those prior? Do you feel kids are not as religious as their elders because they don't have time to think about God or go to an organized worship session? That the world as it is, makes them too busy?
So focus, get rid of any unnecessary sentences, and state your opinion more clearly.
You'll know you fixed the essay when someone can read it and then tell someone else, in a single sentence, what your view is of the issue.
To stay on topic, you might want to deal with the issue of belief. People who really believe in religion attend Church or its equivalent, because most religions posit some sort of Hell or other negative consequences in the afterlife for those who do not follow religious precepts. So, if young people are "too busy" to attend Church, then it implies they are unbelievers, or at least people who only believe weakly. Why do you think that is? Do you think it is a good thing or a bad thing, or do you find it a matter of utter indifference? Etc.
