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An essay about privacy and communication

ray2008Threads: 2
Posts: 4 		 Jan 1, 09, 03:01pm   #1
Some people think that telephones and emails have made communication more personal and that they could share secrets and talk about personal things on them, but I disagree. If anything, they have made communication less personal. That is because privacy in these types of communication could be easily invaded.

Admittedly, it is difficult to talk about personal things on the phone because a third party may always hear you. For example, imagine you were talking to someone about some secrets that you both have, and there was another phone in the house, a third person could pick it up and overhear you talking. As a result, that third person might reveal your secrets to anyone that you do not want them to know. Following this further, when you know that your secrets have been revealed and you know who the third person was, some feuds will start between you and that person. Another example is that if someone talks on a mobile phone with a friend, this friend may record the call, which might have personal secrets, and expose it to other friends. Therefore, that may lead to a lack of trust between friends.

Emails could be more dangerous in terms of losing or invading privacy than phones. As an illustration, hackers can hack people's emails anytime they want and invade their privacy. What's more, those hackers could take and use any valuable information that people might have in their email and use them like credit card numbers. Another example is that when people use internet cafés to check their email, some may forget to sign out which leads to the possibility of using the information that they have in their email by the next user. As a result, this person, in the worst cases, could change the password of the previous user and pretend to be them.

In conclusion, telephones are a good way to communicate, but in terms of sharing personal things or secrets, they can be risky; not riskier than emails, though. Emails could be riskier because hackers may invade anyone's email any time and have a look at the valuable information people may have.

abdulaziz essa
Angela629Threads: 9
Posts: 119 		 Jan 2, 09, 02:17pm   #2
I'm sorry that I can't really give you a good advice since you have not written the prompts.

The thing about your essay, which I guess is a TOEFL essay, is the example given. a good essay must have a firm and strong example that would give the essay its wings. In your essay, I do not see them.

I can only say your example is, in a way, confusing. Your first example says that having multiple phones in house make it possible to blow the conversation. However, this may happen everywhere and it's not about privacy security, it's about whether or not the phone itself is secure.

Your second example about recording the conversation is about trust issues, which also, has nothing to do with telecommunication security.

The hackers may be a proper example. it's true that hackers may cause your information loss, but overall, this is the only example that I would say is informative.

Angela

Angela Wang, EssayForum Contributor
ray2008Threads: 2
Posts: 4 		 Jan 2, 09, 02:20pm   #3
thank you so much but can you give another example

abdulaziz essa
EF_KevinThreads: 24
Posts: 8907 [Moderator] 		 Jan 2, 09, 02:59pm   #4
Another example is that when people use Internet cafés to check their email, some may forget to sign out which leads to the possibility of using the information that they have in their email by the next user. As a result, this person, in the worst cases, could change the password of the previous user and "steal" their identity.

In conclusion, telephones are a good way to communicate, but in terms of sharing personal things or secrets, they can be risky -- not riskier than emails, though. Emails could be riskier because hackers may invade anyone's email any time and have a look at the valuable information people may have.

WELL, if it is supposed to be about privacy in communication, I think you did a good job of answering the question. This essay is very simple, and it does not tell the reader anything new, but it does fulfill the requirement to write about privacy in communication... So, it is pretty good! Really, though, it is not very MEANINGFUL, because nobody would disagree; nobody thinks that information sent over the Internet is entirely secure... so you are demonstrating good English writing -- just not writing anything with much significance.

:) Grammar and spelling are good, though!!

Kevin, EssayForum.com

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